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All posts for the month July, 2015

Luke, I don’t care

Published July 22, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido

luke idc

The title may have you wondering. It actually comes from the Grumpy Cat meme who is dressed as Darth Vader and he says “Luke, I don’t care” instead of the “Luke, I am your father”. Now that, that’s out of the way, let’s get to the blog. 

I have become seriously annoyed with people. I’m not talking about my followers, I think you guys are fantastic. I’m just venting at this point about society and people in general. I look around and I see everything for exactly what it is. If shit is going down all around the world, I’ll be the first to point it out. Now, I know what you’re thinking and I’ll tell you how to stop thinking it – read my blog “I am a realist”. Moving on, I watch the world around me crumbling. I see poverty, bullying, alienation, abuse, hate, racism rants, death and wars. 

Meanwhile, 3rd world countries are being destroyed, the people are starving, they are being killed and kidnapped and many countries women still have no rights. All of this happening while we as American’s are complaining about immigration, flags, weight, race, kids being “brats” and religion. There’s entirely too much ignorance going on in this country and I’m burned out! So I always get the “Well, why don’t you find a new country to call home” and my response is “Why don’t you just get your shit together, so that we can all live happy”. Why does anyone have to move? Why can’t people just be a productive member of society and stop being whiny, obnoxious brats? 

America will be destroyed

What have we as a country become? I’ll tell you. We have become a self-righteous, overbearing, uncaring, bitter society who will be our own demise. Stop bitching about immigrants, they were here hundreds of years before “Christopher Columbus discovered America” The truth is the Native American’s and the Mexican’s lived, worked and built the United States so stop being so self-righteous! Stop telling people to speak English. English was brought from Europe with the white’s who invaded the U.S. and kicked the real citizens out!

Stop fighting over flags and calling everything racist. The Confederate Flag has been around for a very long time and no one started complaining until now. The American flag was flown and used under slavery for 10 times longer than the Confederate flag. Those who fought in the Civil War deserve to have their graves undisturbed and that includes their flags atop their headstones and that includes the 100,000 plus black soldiers. This deal of “Everything is racist” is not only ignorant but, it’s also obnoxious. Black people don’t rule the world, White people don’t rule the world. Let it GO! Your slavery bit has reached the end. 

Stop fighting over whether kids aren’t being controlled by their parents. You don’t know them and you don’t know their situation. 

Stop fighting people who believe in God. Leave them alone, let them be and don’t worry about what they believe! If you don’t want your kids knowing about God and are worried they might be exposed to it in school, keep them at home! No one is bothering your rights, no one cares that you’re obsessed with “In God We Trust” being on our money, if you hate it don’t look at it! Stop bothering people, it’s insanity! 

I just can’t understand this. I look all around and I see all of these stupid arguments and battles over nothing! It doesn’t affect you and at some point this has to stop! The only reason I’m even writing this blog is because it’s not only affecting my life, it’s affecting my mental health. Constant migraines and stress from reading and hearing all of this non sense, listening to people in public and hearing my obnoxious neighbors. I know I’m not the only one who sick of hearing all of this bullshit going on every single day. At some point, we as a society have to stop coping out and take full responsibility for us and us only! I mean that as YOU and YOUR KIDS and that’s it! 

RANT OVER! 

Abusive Dad in the U.K.

Published July 19, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido

I was watching a documentary today called “You’re not splitting up my family”. I’m shocked by how the twin boys were being treated by their father and grandma. Their mother passed away and were being raised by their father who’s an alcoholic and who’s abusive. He kept calling the boys a bastard and telling the social workers that he was going to kill them. 

The boys were constantly in trouble at just 12 years old. They were having a lot of trouble with their mom’s death, their grandma hated them and wanted nothing to do with them. It seems that she caused a lot of the anger that the twin’s father had as she was an abusive grandma. 

Social services continued to stay in their lives and see them for a little more than 12 weeks before removing them from their home with the father. They were both placed with an Aunt and Uncle. The father didn’t have any interest in being back in their lives. He would often say in front of them that he hated them and wanted nothing to do with them. The grandma said the same. I can’t imagine a life like that but, I’m not surprised by their behavior. To see how it was affecting the boys to know they weren’t wanted by anyone except their Aunt and Uncle. It’s just horrible. 

When the boys were 22, they were caught back up with the camera crew who asked them what their lives had been like from age 12-22. The boys had been in quite a bit of trouble, in and out in jail. The camera lady then went to see the grandma who said she wanted nothing to do with the boys still. That she was now blind and didn’t want them stealing from her. She’s happy that they were taken away. Then they met up with the father who’s still drinking heavily and wants nothing to do with the boys either. He claims that he wants them to get their life straightened out yet, he doesn’t have his life straightened out. The one son now has a son and he wants to be a good father to his son. The other one is constantly in and out of jail, homeless and on drugs. 

This is just a basic summary of the documentary but, the reason I wrote this blog is because I was so shocked at how parents hate their children, how having no one affects a child and how the father and grandma in this situation are to blame for the boys behavior. What would you do if you were in this situation? If you have been in this situation, please tell me what it was like. 

Here’s the link to the documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqMRoGBxegE

Chronic Insomnia

Published July 12, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido

insomnia

So many people sleep at night and they wake up like toast popping out of toasters. I’m not a fan of mornings or morning people so this doesn’t work the same way for me.

I have had Chronic Insomnia for as long as I can remember and I have always found it hard to fall asleep with or without sleep medicine at night. For me, being awake at night while everyone else in my house is sleeping, it gives me a chance to either blog or catch up on all of that work I couldn’t finish during the day. After all, it’s easier to clean up everything when no one is going behind you making a mess.

I honestly don’t see a big problem with insomnia but I, have also become used to being awake at night and it’s what works for me.  I have been told that if I will go to bed early, I will feel great early in the morning. That was not true at all. I felt like crap the next morning even after, sleeping the recommended amount. As a matter of fact, even in the mornings, energy drinks, coffee and soda do not work for me to make me wake up and stay awake. So there it is, I function great at night and horribly during the day. I have never understood morning people and I probably never will.

I had a friend who was the most happy morning person you would ever know. She was wide open at 5:00 am and was able to sustain that energy level the entire day until at least 10 pm. I hated being around her in the morning because, I simply could not be awake much less talking that early (if I had slept). I’m sure you all know that super hyper morning person. 

Chronic insomnia is something that people who don’t have it, don’t understand. You can tell they have no clue by the way they talk to you and talk about you. Suddenly, you’re this irresponsible person who’s immature and lazy. They are the kind of people who start making suggestions about taking substances like Melatonin. Why? So that your body can quickly adapt to it and not be able to sleep without it? NO THANKS! Well, I’ve been up the entire night now and I wrote this blog 9 months ago and forgot to publish it, must be all that sleep I’m missing lol. Thanks for reading! 

I despise my brother in law

Published July 12, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido

Here’s the thing, I try to get along with everyone and that’s not always possible but for the most part, I’m a loving person until you cross the line. Allow me to explain. (This blog was written 8 months ago and never published until now)

My brother in law is the type of person who manages to upset most anyone who gets to know him. Originally I thought, maybe he’s just not a likable person because he’s not controlling his tongue but now, I’m starting to believe that he intentionally does things to make people angry. In the first place, he’s always getting into our business and trying to run things. He’s always been very controlling with anyone who crosses his path and he loses most everyone in his life because of it. There are some people that I truly believe hate their self so much, they take it out on the world and hate them too. Who am I to pass judgment? That doesn’t really apply here considering he goes out of his way to make mine and my husband’s life hell. He’s always running to the remainder of the family and telling them lies about us and spreading rumors that have no backing. We have tried to stay away from him as much as possible but, the lies and rumors continue. I wrote a previous blog concerning my mother in law and she’s bad for considering her “baby” perfect and she always finds fault in her oldest son (my husband). She’s always telling my brother in law our business and they constantly sit and talk about us.

Normally, I would be ignoring this kind of behavior but, our lives have been affected by this so badly that we cannot breathe without being condemned. He even goes as far as to tell us how to take care of our child yet, he does not take care of his and never has. My husband once made the mistake of helping him out with a credit card, he ran up thousands of dollars and still to this day has not paid it back and doesn’t care that my husband’s credit is now ruined. Family or not, that’s someone that you cannot trust and want nothing to do with. This is someone who has never been mature, who refuses to pay his bills or hold down a job. Instead, he spends all of his money on movies, eating out, video games and going in debt for electronics. Really? When you owe someone a lot of money, the least you could do is make an effort to pay them back. I have told my husband multiple times that I’m completely done with his family and he has the choice to either stand by them or walk away but, I feel like that my son should not be in their lives because they are horrible influences and sleezy people.

UPDATE 7-12-2015 – We are no longer associating with my brother in law other than the occasional phone call. He no longer lives near us and we haven’t seen him in many months. It’s honestly better for all of us but, he still hasn’t forked over any of the money he owes us. 

The Bridge Burner

Published July 12, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido

becareful mistreatingbridges

In this blog I’m going to discuss bad associates and people who burn bridges, so that all of you can know what to look for. 

There are many different types of friends in this world, let’s look at a few:

  • Friends for a season – These are the friends that are very temporary and only have one mission and that’s to feel better about themselves or to make you feel better

  • Friends for life – These are the friends who would fight the devil himself to protect you, they will only make judgments about your life that will help you and will support you no matter what

  • Fake friends – These are the one’s who have an agenda, who know they will need your help in some way or they want your spouse and think making friends with you is the easiest way.

  • Bridge Burners – These are the kind that are sheep in wolf’s clothing, they are out to make your life as miserable as possible for their own purpose.

I’m going to focus this blog on Bridge Burners because, I recently with through this with someone. I had a so called friend who was focused on “helping me” to get on my feet and had the agenda of getting me to sign up for her business. Now, that was all great for the first I don’t know 3 weeks. I kept my distance for the most part and let it play out. In the beginning I felt happy, later on I realized that this was no friendship and shortly thereafter, the true colors were shown. A bridge burner is someone who appears helpless or to need your help and basically fish for information and then burn their bridges with you. They will often turn on you at the drop of a hat, become cocky or rude and then flaunt all of their new learned information. They often take on the appearance of someone who’s well maintained and in somewhat control.

People who burn their bridges, often do not realize the impact or consequences of doing so and tend to repeat such action with every new person they meet. It’s almost like an endless cycle that will not stop until that person realizes that what they are doing, isn’t the answer. After so long, the person will understand that they have lost something that could have been potentially life changing for them. There are people like myself who refuses to follow up with someone that I’m done with. Other will people give many chances and though I believe in second chances, that has conditions. In my case, the person I’m referring to decided this was a funny matter and straight up said that they will say whatever they want to. That’s when you can tell that the person is enjoying being in control of the situation. The difference is, many people like myself, enjoy knowing that person not only isn’t in control but, that their time of fun and happiness will come to an end.

Now, there’s several things you must watch out for so that you can identify a bridge burner almost immediately.

  1. They seem overly friendly, despite not knowing you

  2. They have an agenda that’s likely known to you or appears to you

  3. They have bipolar mimicking behaviors or thoughts

  4. They seem to be entertained by your being in a bad situation or having less than they do

  5. They constantly comment on what they do for you.

  6. They list off “problems” that they have and look to you to repair it.

  7. They often don’t have time for you or are rude when they finally do come around.

The above describes in detail the different ways to know if someone is going to be a bad associate or a bridge burner within the first month or so of associating with them. You must be extremely cautious around someone who starts to show the signs and make sure that you haven’t or don’t tell them much of anything about yourself, that you know is bad to get out. A bad associate or bridge burner will make sure they spread rumors about you or tell everything they know. They will become manipulative and hateful. For example, in my case the person was being unprofessional, rude, mocking, vengeful and had periods of bipolar moments and also making “joking” threats. Such as “I would love to slap you right now”. It’s the kind of person you cannot be exposed to for long periods. That usually is a clear indication that not only will they not be supportive of you but, they may turn into someone who becomes a legal problem to you and your family as well. The important thing is that you rid yourself of toxic people as quickly as possible! 

WANTED: Time Machine

Published July 12, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido
PHOTO CREDIT: charmed.wikia.com

PHOTO CREDIT: charmed.wikia.com

Have you ever wanted to go back in time? Ever wanted to see a moment in history take place? See your own birth? Go to a time you can’t remember, to see which of you parents were telling the truth about the event? Just experience a certain time period? That’s what this blog is all about. 

You see I want to do all of those things. I’ve been stuck in wanting to time travel so badly and most of that is because well, I hate the world we currently live in and I wanted to see a time when things were a little more simple, where women were modestly dressed. To see no Miley Cyrus and more family values, to see respectful men and women interacting. I would also love to be their for my own birth and see the look on my parents face’s when they laid eyes on me for the first time, to see what they thought of me and what they talked about. 

All of these things seem so interesting to me and for years now I can’t get my mind off of it. I spend sometimes hours watching commercials from the 40’s and 50’s on YouTube. I’m always researching historical events and asking people who lived during certain time periods what it was like but, there’s nothing like experiencing that for yourself, in person. I dream of what I would do if I went back in time. Would people notice me and start panicking? Would I be able to get in a time machine that allowed me to see and hear them but, I went unnoticed and unheard? Wouldn’t that be even better if they couldn’t hear or see you and you could just enjoy the experience without all of the screaming and running away? lol. 

I’ve asked around and done some google searches, it seems like I’m not the only one. As a matter of fact, there was a short series in the UK called Time Warp Wives and it’s not a made up show, it’s an actual video of women who live their entire lives in different time periods. One of those women was determined to be a 50’s housewife and her husband went right along with it. They used ancient appliances (that were modern at the time) that were in good working condition, they bought their 50’s outfits online and at consignment shops/estate sales, they had an old telephone and her husband built all of the custom made furniture based on photographs in 1950’s catalogs, the woman even cooked everything from scratch and served her husband, she refused to have children because, she wanted to be fully in touch with his needs. They rarely went out in public and when they did people stared at them. I thought wow, that’s a little over the top but hey, if you really want to live that way, why not. 

I think I have always sort of been fascinated by these things as a child but, I think that it all got a little more serious the more fed up with the world we live in. For me, I hate today’s society and the way society behaves. I’m tired of constantly hearing overused terms like racism, fighting, war, money problems, someone killed or raped someone, there was yet another robbery and so on. I think that all of us are a little tired of the world today. I’m also tired of seeing trash on the TV and hearing it on the radio. I hate the Miley Cyrus’s (people like her) and the Kardashian’s, to see that sex sells and values/morals mean nothing. That you can’t trust anyone anymore, that people are only out for their selves and don’t care what happens to you.

We’re all kind of slaves now to the internet, social media, celebrities, cell phones and all things modern. We are after all the generation of looking down and the generation of “likes” and retweets. We have all just kind of given up on enjoying life and only associating ourselves with how many online friends we have and whether people like our statuses or not. Even teenagers today are killing themselves over someone making comments on the internet. That sort of thing didn’t exist in the past, people valued their lives and didn’t think as highly of someone who didn’t like them. Wouldn’t it be nice to just escape all of these things, even for just a day?

I hope you have enjoyed this blog and please tell me in the comments below, what you would like to do if you could go back in time.  

The Balloon Obsession

Published July 12, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido

balloon obsession

So recently my son who has autism has become obsessed with balloons. Now, I know that toddlers can have favorite toys and they enjoy playing with certain things but, this has gotten out of control. Let me explain. 

We were out shopping as we normally do on July 1st and it’s a day that we all look forward to. Normally, we’ll go into the store and our son enjoys running around, riding in the shopping cart and just enjoys being out. He has never begged for anything or cried for anything with the exception that he does like bouncy balls. We always bought him one because, he would often pop his by throwing it in our rose bushes. On July 1st, we went into the store and balloons that were on the ceiling caught his eye and he started exclaiming “guka, guka” and we didn’t know what that meant. He kept reaching for the balloons so we assume that word means something to him and that was his word for balloon. 

As we continued on through the store we noticed that he was starting to get much more fussy than usual and he started screaming at the top his lungs begging for the balloon. This was not typical of his behavior and he even started kicking me which he never does. Everyone in the store was staring at him and meanwhile we’re baffled as to what just happened. We pulled a balloon down just so we could get through the store. He was smiling, laughing and saying “Guka” over and over and began hugging the balloon. We tried taking it away and getting him to say bye bye to the balloon in the store and things got much worse so we caved and bought the $1 balloon. We didn’t realize that wouldn’t be the end of it. 

We went back to the store a few days later, a different one this time and again he begged for a balloon even though he still had his at home. We managed to get his mind off of it by basically shoving a bag of candy in his eye sight and quickly opening the bag and of course that worked at the time. I know it’s not the best option but, it’s the only one we had. 

Yesterday, my husband took our son into a store and he saw a balloon at the register. My husband was trying to get out of there as quickly as possible before the tantrum started but, the cashier was too slow and there were too many people in front of him. So, the screaming began and of course people were staring. Our son went into a huge meltdown and I’m not talking about like your typical toddler tantrum, he actually went into a full blown violent rage. So again, my husband gave in and my son came home with a bright red, star shaped balloon.

I’m just not sure what to do about this obsession, I know that it’s only been a little over a week but,  I know my son and I’m worried about where this obsession will take him. Will he be completely obsessed with balloons for a long time, what happens when he accidentally lets go of a balloon and it goes higher than we can catch it? We had thought about taking a balloon with us tied around his wrist so that we don’t have to keep buying them. Has anyone else gone through an obsession with balloons or other objects that caused nightmare tantrums?

The Picky Eater

Published July 12, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido
This is not my child but, that's the face he gives me when I put food in front of him that he doesn't like.

This is not my child but, that’s the face he gives me when I put food in front of him that he doesn’t like. PHOTO CREDIT: http://www.shoppinglifestyle.com

So I have a son who’s 2 years old and has autism. He’s never been a great eater but, I have noticed that he’s getting more picky. It seems that he has a problem with foods that are of funny texture. I’ve heard that many Autistic kids go through this and I’m wondering how many other parents out there went through this? 

In the first place, he will not eat any kind of sauces and that includes Mayo, Ketchup, Mustard, Ranch, BBQ or any other sauce. He will not touch multi-colored foods like vegetables (especially not the mixed one’s). He’s highly allergic to fruits so he doesn’t know what they taste like. He will eat anything chicken but, not much else. He’ll eat French Fries and Potatoes (whether whole or chopped) and he’ll eat beef tips but will not eat bread or hamburgers. 

It’s become so bad the doctor has put him on PediaSure because he’s not getting the nutrition he needs from foods even though he’s above average for the guideline for weight. He is not mal-nourished by any means, he’s very healthy it’s just that the doctor is concerned about him losing weight in the future or not getting enough vitamins. We did have him on gummy vitamins but, they apparently were not giving him the right amount of nutrition or at least the doctor could not tell a difference.

If your child is going through this, it’s so important to talk to your pediatrician about it because, they may need testing to see if they have digestive issues or other sensitivities not related to the Autism. For our son, he was born nearly a month early because I had a placental abruption and had to have an emergency c-section and he was born at right at 6 pounds but, could not breathe at birth due to consuming blood and pieces of the placenta. He was in the NICU for 3 days and we stayed in the hospital an additional 2 days.  After we brought him home, he had colic really bad and that actually continued until he was 6 months old and he also had acid reflux so he was on a special formula. It took a long time to get him well and now he’s struggling to eat again. I’m not sure if he’s just not interested in the foods and he is going through both the picky eater stage that happens with 2 year old’s or it’s the Autism. 

If anyone else has gone through this with their Autistic child or your 2 year old please comment on this blog and tell me the story and what if anything helped your child. 

Enough is Enough

Published July 10, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido

When is enough, enough? When do life’s challenges become so overwhelming that you know something has to change? Well, let’s talk about it. 

I’m the type of person who’s had a lot of bad things happen to me over the course of my young life and I have handled it all pretty well up until now. I don’t care to go into great detail but I’ll say this, I’ve seen, heard and dealt with way more than I should have and I’ve grown tired of the same problems. Now, many people will judge me and say “Quit making the same mistakes”. I’m not making the same mistakes yet, I’m having similar results. 

I have had a lot of problems for a while now and people don’t seem to understand. I’ve always had some complications with family, people who think they are friends and won’t go away, ex’s, newbies, financial, sexual and physical. The list continues to go on and on and I’m the go to person for every single problem known to man and yet, I certainly don’t have that kind of support in return except on WordPress. I have some pretty great followers here who I can very much relate to. I’m nearly up to 70 followers now and it’s amazing. All I do is write about all the BS things in life and yet, people enjoy my stories and my struggles and I really appreciate that.

Over the years, I’ve tried to gain support and appreciation apparently in all the wrong places. I’ve tried getting people to notice my struggles particularly on Facebook and even family continue to go unnoticed when it comes to myself and my feelings. I think that’s why so many blogs are written here. 

It’s surprising how much people who are somewhat depressed will look for validation from others. The solution often recommended is medication. There’s a medicine for everything these days yet, there are no real solutions. It’s like here take this pill so that you feel better about your bad situation. That’s not a solution to me or anyone else. Then you have the fake supporters, you know the one’s who don’t really want to deal with you. They are the one’s who say things like “Everyone has problems”. Again, this is superficial and isn’t a solution. There are a lot of people who have a problem every now and again and there’s a lot of people who need to carry an umbrella constantly, there’s always a heavy rain cloud hanging over their heads and nothing ever works out. 

For those of you who have something constantly hanging over your head, you’ll completely understand and you’ll be just as frustrated as I am with the superficial people who have no idea what’s going on. Yes, people have problems but, there’s a lot of people that you’ll notice who have superficial problems. The example is “Jane has an engine that won’t start and she requires a new starter for her car”. That’s a temporary problem that doesn’t qualify as “Everyone has problems”. 

I think that I’ve always been a person who’s had too many downfalls and I’m incredibly frustrated by it. I’ve always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt and I’ve helped an incredible amount of people. I’m the one people come to when they want money, someone to vent to, someone for support of some kind and so on. When I want something, I have zero support, everyone disappears. Who else has had that problem? (Please comment below)

Why is it that the people who suck the most life out of you, are never around when you’re in need? What is it that makes people be less empathetic towards situations similar to yours? They are so trusting of you to help them but, they are not trusting enough of you to help you and I know, it sounds like a rant but seriously, I’m so burned out at this point with the way things go and the way that good people are treated like crap and bad people are treated like Kings/Queens. So now the question begins, do I continue to be a good person and suffer or do I become the person who refuses to empathize with anyone, not help anyone with money and collect on that happiness? Since I’ve tried being that great person my whole life, I think I’ll try the other side since the good side has never worked. It seems that the world is a fend for yourself kind of world. 

Anyway, rant over. Enough is enough! 

Not a happy 4th

Published July 4, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido

I absolutely dread the fourth of July and I’ll explain all about it below. 

PTSD N FIREWORKS

Everyone is all excited when the great ol Independence Day comes except two people: Babies and PTSD sufferers. I’m suffering from PTSD and the 4th doesn’t sound like a great thing to me. You see, I’ve been shot and survived and therefore, I’m not interested in anything that goes boom. Hell, I jump whenever someone slams a car door, to hear a constant booming is going to wreck me more than the blown up fireworks. 

I also live in a neighborhood where my neighbors could care less how I feel and they’ll be out shooting off fireworks, guns, drinking and being loud. I won’t be going outside my house this year, nor have I done it any other year. It won’t matter, I can’t escape the sounds. I suppose I’ll be needing to pull out those headphones of mine to drown out the sound and perhaps play some calming music or watch TV through the headphones. 

I dread these types of holiday’s and that goes for New Years too. With all of the excitement surrounding the 4th, I can’t help but wonder if anyone considers that some of us aren’t keen to tremoring and having panic attacks. I would imagine that people who don’t suffer, don’t care. You see, I’ve tried therapy for many years now and it seems that if I’m not actually facing my therapist, I can’t really get through these sort of things on my own and I know that probably sounds stupid to most but, it’s important that I have something to keep my mind off of this. 

All I ask is that if you know you have neighbors with PTSD, please be considerate and don’t shoot off fireworks, guns or anything else that may startle them. You never know how dangerous it can be. If you startle the wrong PTSD sufferer, you may end up dead. Sometimes they panic and start shooting, those are often the one’s who have been in war. Thank you for reading my blog!