Divorce

All posts in the Divorce category

The Welfare Stigma

Published June 5, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido

I believe it’s important to address the stigma of those on Welfare, Food Stamps and any other form of help for needy families. I’ve seen too many discussions, arguments, memes and they were all negative and clearly had the wrong views. Let me set it straight for you. 

Medicaid – The insurance that’s required for those who either don’t have work or can’t afford insurance on their own. It’s critical for families who are struggling because, medicaid provides necessary healthcare of children and adults alike including medications which couldn’t otherwise be afforded. 

Food Stamps – Given to those who are under the poverty line at around 130% below the line. These food stamps are not just given to anyone, they are given to people who not only meet the poverty guideline but, they are also given to people who do work and aren’t making enough money. Everything is included when being eligible for food stamps including the amount of rent and utilities you pay, allowances for phone, child support and many other expenses

Cash Assistance – A set amount of money based on how much you make and some of the expenses you have to pay out but only, rent and utilities. Nothing else is included in that when it comes to your requirements. It’s not a large amount of money like most people think. 

The main reason that we’re talking about this today is because there’s so many people out there who receive a bad stigma for being on welfare of any kind and they are often bashed for it. Not everyone who’s on assistance is on drugs or selling their food stamps. Not everyone who’s on assistance doesn’t pay their taxes or hasn’t ever paid taxes, not everyone can find work even with previous experience or an education. Not much of your tax dollars go to funding these programs, as a matter of fact more of your tax dollars go to funding the military expenses, like creating robots to fight in senseless wars. 

You see, people are quick to say “Why don’t you go get a job and pay taxes like everyone else”. That being said, you’re assuming that they aren’t working now and that they have never paid taxes and you’re also not doing your research on how little of tax dollars actually go to the programs. You automatically assume that you’re supporting someone else’s family who you claim is on drugs, lazy and looking for handouts. Do you realize the number of people who can only find part time work, were let go from their jobs so the jobs could be shipped overseas, went through a horrible divorce and were left with nothing, became disabled and are waiting in the 2-3 year waiting list to receive disability benefits? No, you’re not considering any of those things or you wouldn’t post ignorant comments and memes talking about people you know nothing about! 

So I’ll say this, unless you know the person personally, unless you’re willing to get them a job or give them a job, unless you’re willing to hear them out and hear their I’m sure heartbreaking story, STOP JUDGING THEM! 

foodstamp ignorance

THIS MEME IS A PRIME EXAMPLE OF SOMEONE JUDGING SOMEONE ON FOOD STAMPS. HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT THE IPHONE WASN’T A GIFT FROM SOMEONE THAT APPLIES TO MULTIPLE YEARS IN A ROW, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT THEIR TATTOOS WEREN’T DONE BY A FRIEND OR THAT THEY WEREN’T DONE BEFORE THEY LOST EVERYTHING? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT THE MANI-PEDI WASN’T SOMETHING SOMEONE ELSE DID FOR THEM OR THEY DONE THEIR SELVES AT HOME? BELIEVE IT OR NOT THERE ARE STICK ON NAIL THINGS THAT LOOK PROFESSIONAL. 

Advertisements

The Problem with In-laws

Published October 3, 2014 by Amplio Recorrido

There are many people who marry someone without even considering what their in-laws will be like. I think that many people are in good favor with the in-laws in the beginning but, after the marriage has been going for a while, things start to go south. In my case, my in-laws hate me. You see, I’m not the same race as my husband and in his culture they have very strict beliefs on what a wife should be like. In this case, women are sex objects and they are also home-makers and nothing more. The women are supposed to obey what the man says and tolerate anything that happens, even if the man is abusive.

On the other hand, I was raised differently. It was not optional for a woman to work because, it took both incomes in order to pay all of the bills and have entertainment money as well such as going on vacation at least twice a year. The woman was not slave to the man. The man did his own laundry, cooking and never treated the woman as if she owed him anything. Due to this difference in cultures, my in-laws have decided that I’m an evil, outspoken witch. In fact, my mother in law truly believes that I’m the spawn of Satan because, I’m not a submissive wife who doesn’t defend myself.

Though everyone’s situation with their in-laws are different, the wife is usually subject to more stress from the husband’s family than vice-versa. This can often cause problems in the marriage and eventually, the man either has to choose between his wife or his family or, the wife decides she’s not willing to tolerate it any more and just leaves. It’s unclear why things are so bad between in-laws and married couples. In my experiences, the differences of opinion on everything, the difference in cultures and the way each of the people involved were raised has a lot to do with the conflicts. Almost always, the mother in law rejects her daughter in law because, she feels as though the daughter in law will never be worthy of her “Perfect son”.

Then, as the couple goes on to have children, often times the mother in law steps in and tries to tell her son or daughter what to do with their child and why their spouse is doing it all wrong. I’ve even heard of nightmare in-laws where they obtain a key to their child’s house and they go in whenever they want, rearrange things in the house and tell them what to do with their life and why it’s all screwed up. You rarely hear of this problem with father in laws and I assume it’s because, they are happy that their child grew up enough to move out, get married and give them grandchildren and almost always, the father in law is happy to just be free from raising children. However, the father in law always has the tough job of playing referee when the mother in law gets involved in things she shouldn’t.

For those who are experiencing problems with their in-laws, please leave a comment at the bottom of this blog and let me know what your experience has been and what you think of the above statements.