The title may have you wondering. It actually comes from the Grumpy Cat meme who is dressed as Darth Vader and he says “Luke, I don’t care” instead of the “Luke, I am your father”. Now that, that’s out of the way, let’s get to the blog.
I have become seriously annoyed with people. I’m not talking about my followers, I think you guys are fantastic. I’m just venting at this point about society and people in general. I look around and I see everything for exactly what it is. If shit is going down all around the world, I’ll be the first to point it out. Now, I know what you’re thinking and I’ll tell you how to stop thinking it – read my blog “I am a realist”. Moving on, I watch the world around me crumbling. I see poverty, bullying, alienation, abuse, hate, racism rants, death and wars.
Meanwhile, 3rd world countries are being destroyed, the people are starving, they are being killed and kidnapped and many countries women still have no rights. All of this happening while we as American’s are complaining about immigration, flags, weight, race, kids being “brats” and religion. There’s entirely too much ignorance going on in this country and I’m burned out! So I always get the “Well, why don’t you find a new country to call home” and my response is “Why don’t you just get your shit together, so that we can all live happy”. Why does anyone have to move? Why can’t people just be a productive member of society and stop being whiny, obnoxious brats?
What have we as a country become? I’ll tell you. We have become a self-righteous, overbearing, uncaring, bitter society who will be our own demise. Stop bitching about immigrants, they were here hundreds of years before “Christopher Columbus discovered America” The truth is the Native American’s and the Mexican’s lived, worked and built the United States so stop being so self-righteous! Stop telling people to speak English. English was brought from Europe with the white’s who invaded the U.S. and kicked the real citizens out!
Stop fighting over flags and calling everything racist. The Confederate Flag has been around for a very long time and no one started complaining until now. The American flag was flown and used under slavery for 10 times longer than the Confederate flag. Those who fought in the Civil War deserve to have their graves undisturbed and that includes their flags atop their headstones and that includes the 100,000 plus black soldiers. This deal of “Everything is racist” is not only ignorant but, it’s also obnoxious. Black people don’t rule the world, White people don’t rule the world. Let it GO! Your slavery bit has reached the end.
Stop fighting over whether kids aren’t being controlled by their parents. You don’t know them and you don’t know their situation.
Stop fighting people who believe in God. Leave them alone, let them be and don’t worry about what they believe! If you don’t want your kids knowing about God and are worried they might be exposed to it in school, keep them at home! No one is bothering your rights, no one cares that you’re obsessed with “In God We Trust” being on our money, if you hate it don’t look at it! Stop bothering people, it’s insanity!
I just can’t understand this. I look all around and I see all of these stupid arguments and battles over nothing! It doesn’t affect you and at some point this has to stop! The only reason I’m even writing this blog is because it’s not only affecting my life, it’s affecting my mental health. Constant migraines and stress from reading and hearing all of this non sense, listening to people in public and hearing my obnoxious neighbors. I know I’m not the only one who sick of hearing all of this bullshit going on every single day. At some point, we as a society have to stop coping out and take full responsibility for us and us only! I mean that as YOU and YOUR KIDS and that’s it!
Recently, I have been reading a lot of stories about Transgender kids and I know how much this going to hurt some feelings but honestly, I’m appalled by this. Here’s my main reasons for concern.
#1 – I don’t believe that Children should be allowed to make a life changing decisions like gender changing when they cannot smoke, vote, drive, drink, get tattoos/piercings or consent to sex.
#2 – There are a lot of kids especially girls who act like boys and do boy things, that doesn’t mean they should alter their gender. When I was growing up, it was called being a Tomboy.
#3 – A lot of this seems to be influenced by parents who wanted their kid to be a different gender and with the nationwide acceptance that this is a true “disorder”, parents can now get by with it and put off on the child that they wanted to be a girl or a boy.
Things like this were never heard of until the current generation. Now, everyone is so accepting of these life changing decisions. I don’t believe that these people were born this way, if they were, then why is it that they were only born this way in the current generation? Why not the thousands of years that man has walked the earth? As for the parents who are unsatisfied with their child’s gender and are influencing their kids to change who they are, you should have changed positions if you wanted a different gender or went through the process of gender selection. Most of these kids have been influenced from the beginning and it starts when the parents begin dressing them like a different gender and encourage them to play with toys and think like the other gender. All of this about kids wanting what they chose, that’s total bs and everyone knows it. So much of this is a child’s natural desire to want to please their parents, make them happy and whatever they learned they will do.
I’m female but when I was a kid, I did everything that boys did and always wondered what it would be like to be a boy. I can tell you for 100% certainty that if my parents had made the decision to make me a boy, I would have been completely unsatisfied now that I’m mature enough to look back on it. I’m still not a girly girl and I never will be, I still choose not to change gender. Why is it that we as a society are accepting this nonsense? Now people are demanding that transgender kids be allowed to share restrooms. Are you kidding me? I don’t want a boy in the girl’s restroom regardless of whether they have chosen to become a girl or not. I think it can be too easy for people to commit crimes that way. This is why I have a problem with the Transgender community.
I want all of you to know that I’m not writing this blog due to the domestic abuse that has occurred within the NFL. Now with that being said, let’s proceed.
Domestic violence can often occur with someone that you trust and often times it’s due to that person’s inability to control their emotions. It can however, be caused by someone who has a mental illness such as Paranoia which can cause the person to believe that their partner is doing things intentionally to make them angry. The other side of it can also be the person’s inability to take personal responsibility for their own actions. Often times the abuser will say “If you hadn’t of said that, this wouldn’t be happening” or whatever the case is.
I want you to know a few things. In the first place, I’m a survivor of domestic violence. I won’t bore you with the details but, I will tell you that the person who abused me did so for as long as he could get away it and first chose isolation to keep me from telling anyone and then proceeded with the endless cycle of breaking my spirit to make me submissive. You see these are all common steps of the abuser and most abusers are afraid for anyone to discover what they are doing.
The most difficult thing for women to do is to leave their abuser. It’s common that people will criticize and say “Why didn’t you leave sooner” well, as I stated before Isolation is the abusers biggest advantage. There are extreme cases where the abuser will literally force you to stay inside the house. The person may block the doors/windows, they may tie you up or even lock you in a closet. There’s no way to escape most of the time unless someone gets worried about you and comes to your rescue.
The biggest thing that you need to know, if you do manage to get away from your abuser know that it will not stop. Almost always, the abuser is determined to have you back under their control and that is when stalking begins. You will often find that person showing up where you happen to be, usually they have either followed you or they have someone giving them information about where you’re going or who you will be with. Always take someone you trust with you every place that you go. I know that this may be annoying or even inconvenient but, it will also likely save your life. If you have no one to go with you, put it off for another time or carry discreet pepper spray or a tazer.
There are various resources that can help you escape from this abusive endless cycle but, what you need to know for sure is that you will require counseling when you leave the abusive relationship and things will never be the same again. That’s bad news you say, yes, the good news is though, you won’t be being beaten every day any more. It’s impossible to say whether or not the person will follow you everywhere you go but what they will do is, they will do everything they can to convince you to either stay or return back with them. They may even say “I went to therapy” or “I’m on medication now”. I do believe that people can change, I don’t however believe that they can change so quickly and by you going back to them, you’re rekindling that excitement they had of controlling and abusing you. It’s never a good idea to return based on what they claim, or even return at all.
Public breastfeeding has now become widespread and now a trend has been started where women are taking pictures of them breastfeeding and posting them all over social media. Although I have no problem with breastfeeding in general, I also don’t want to see it on my news feed. I think that people who do this are trying to seek any type of attention they can get and honestly, they are exploiting their children. Allow me to explain.
When I first started seeing these pictures my initial thought was “What in the world are they doing?!” I couldn’t believe that someone would post a picture of their child feeding from their breast on social media and actually try to defend it by saying things like “It’s natural”, “All women should do this” and of course my first reaction was to say “What’s next?! Showing your baby’s poopy diaper, that’s natural and that’s what happens when the milk digests”. Now some of you may feel that I’m wrong here and I’m sure you will because I have been called an idiot and ignorant on social media.
I feel that this is exploiting children because, the women on there who are trying to prove a point do not take into consideration that pictures are on the internet forever and when that child grows up enough to be on social media, the last thing they want to see is them sucking milk from their mom’s boob. It’s embarrassing just like taking pictures of your kid using the potty for the first time or giving them a bath.
I look at it this way, I don’t want my child to see your boob flopped out any more than I want a man to whip out his penis and pee in public. That’s natural but, I don’t want to see it. There are options to not disrespect other people’s children in public and they won’t look away because they are kids and kids notice everything. When people have suggested that these women use covers or feed their kids breast milk in bottles they fire back and say “My child won’t take a bottle” or the famous one “Why don’t you put a cover over your head while you eat” first off, that doesn’t make any sense, a child should not ever be solely dependent on it’s mother’s nipple alone and I don’t suck on anyone’s boob when I eat, I eat with a spoon and a fork. I believe that both of those common reactions are excuses to “Prove a point”.
If a man cannot “be natural” and pull out his penis and pee in public, a woman should not be allowed to expose herself and flop out her boob. People are arrested for peeing in public, having sex in public or exposing their self in any way in public and I believe that flopping your boob out is also exposing yourself in public and should be punishable by law. There’s no excuse why you need to do that. It’s not natural to do that in public and it will not be accepted. I will not allow my child to see a woman’s breast at his young age. I’m not against breast feeding but, there are other ways to do it and regardless of what the mother says, I think that it needs to be enforced.
Recently, there was a story on a woman who went to a public place called Discovery Place in Charlotte, NC and she was told that she would have to go to the bathroom to breast feed her child. She became angry and went to the news with it and of course attention seeking women praised her for standing up for herself. However, she has no right to take her baby to a public kids play place and flop her boob out in front of all those children and I do feel like the company had a right to say what they said. Though she tried using the excuse that she paid for entry and that they don’t force patrons to eat in the bathroom, it’s an invalid argument. The fact is, children are extremely curious and I don’t want them staring at another woman’s boobs. Children are imitators and they do sometimes try things like that on other children when they see an adult having it done by a baby. That is not natural and I won’t stand for it.
Final Conclusion: If you refuse to cover up and you refuse to feed your child from a bottle, stay at home. I will not have to explain to my child why you have your boob exposed and I will not leave a place that I paid for because you want to cause a mess of drama.
We all know that in today’s world Modesty is not a word used to describe women especially celebrities. I, myself have always believed in being modest and no I’m not overweight. The major problem with being modest in today’s world is that men are not interested.
There are many examples of uncovered women out there Celebrities, Models, Billboard ad’s and especially television ad’s. We live in a world of women who flatter men out there everywhere with their bodies and their skimpy clothes. A few of the many examples of this are in the music industry such as Nicki Minaj, Miley Cyrus and Beyonce. They are also subject to stalkers who are obsessed with them and treat them like sex objects because, that’s the way they present their self.
One of the stronger examples comes from Food and Beer commercials in which you will see many women with skimpy outfits having “food sex” over a hamburger or men getting slutty women in beer commercials. These things are obviously unappealing and unrealistic to those of us who have some class and are turned off by it.
The bigger problem aside from being turned off by it is that, our children are being exposed to these images and are virtually expected to dress, look and act that way in order to “make it” in today’s world which has become a man’s world. For instance, I was in a store last year and I noticed that Miley Cyrus had come out with a clothing line, the bad part, it was for young children and it was super short. For the trashy parents out there who dress their children like sluts, you’re setting your child up for molestation and rape. These items of clothing are very appealing to the pedophiles and also you’re teaching them to dress to please. It’s extremely inappropriate.
I do realize that some women who want to be modest or who are modest, feel pressured by all of the women who have flat stomachs and wear skimpy clothes. Then there’s the fashion industry which is mostly run by men. The men within the industry virtually control what consumers wear by advertising that you’re not good looking unless you wear these items. There’s also a pressure to be thin by using celebrities who have had kids and have “slimmed down” right after birth. Again, this is unrealistic and many of those women have photoshopped pictures, they are genetically disposed to being thin or they have surgery right after birth. However, to certain men who act like pigs, they will often to pressure women into looking like the woman they saw in a magazine or on TV.
The point in all of this is, men do not respect a woman who falls into “slutty” women, they will treat you as if you’re a sex object and nothing more. You will never have the respect you normally would by only being yourself without undressing. Now, this is not to say that you can’t wear that bikini to the beach but, it’s saying to not always be uncovered, flashing your body to every man in the world. In the first place, it’s dangerous as some men can become violent and rape you and secondly, if you’re looking for a permanent relationship or marriage, you likely won’t find your partner who will want you for anything other than sex. As a young person, you may think “That’s ok because I’m hormonal any way” but, as you gain weight later on, that man will say “This is not what I bought” and they will leave you for something thinner.
The bottom line: Respect yourself ladies so you can get respect. Though I could fall into the traps of today’s “fashion”, I refuse. I obtained a great man by just being myself and not showing him what he could have. It’s more important to build a foundation ladies before you start thinking of decorating that house you haven’t built yet. (This is a metaphor of course but, you get the idea).
THE PICTURE ADDED TO THIS POST DOES NOT BELONG TO ME, THE CREDIT GOES TO QUICKMEME.COM
We have all seen homeless people at one point or another. Many people refer to them as “Trash”, “Druggies” and “Lazy”. However, what do we really know about these people who appear to be useless trash littering the streets? Well let’s start out with a few facts
NOT all homeless people use drugs
NOT all homeless people are lazy
NOT all homeless people have bad intentions
You might be thinking that I’m an advocate for the homeless and in a way I am. You see, there have been many times where I have given money to select homeless people and I’m not talking about your average coins. I’m fairly good at determining who will use the money for things they really need and who won’t. None of us who help the homeless know where our money goes after we hand it off.
America is supposed to be a land of opportunity but, we have found fairly fast that our current President (like many previous president’s) misuses a lot of the money printed. We’re all aware of the trillions of dollars being spent on useless wars, lavish trips for the President and his family and even state of the art rehab facilities for Sex Offenders. It’s no secret that money is not being spent on using abandoned buildings to create large shelters for the homeless in any state.
Though money would be well spent if the President had his head on straight and chose to help the citizens of the United States first, this will be very unlikely to happen in the near or far future. This is due to each new President trying to follow the lead of the previous president. As you all know, the last 3 president’s have spent countless American dollars on things that do not benefit America.
So, who will care for the homeless? Many people go about their daily life and ignore the homeless and some even make petitions to have them removed from their make shift homes. After all, no one wants to look at eye sores right? What we all fail to realize is, any one of us could become homeless at any time. No one is guaranteed their jobs will last and many people will have been laid off in order for those jobs to be transferred overseas or people will simply be replaced by new, fast technology like Robots and Drones.
When talking about what are the options of the homeless, you must keep an open mind. In the first place, many homeless people have lost their jobs, their homes, their families and have very little left over. Finding a new job becomes harder when you have limited experience, you have no address or phone number to list on your application, you cannot arrive to an interview dirty, you have no resume to go along with your application, etc. It’s hard enough for people who are not homeless and who have degrees to get a job. At this point, most all jobs are impossible to get.
Another myth about the homeless is that they are all drug users or alcoholic’s. This is a poor assumption as some homeless, have never been addicted to either and even if they are, you must realize that being on the streets is the hardest thing you can imagine. It’s no life for anyone and those people suffer badly every single day.
Many homeless people become criminals over time as they become more desperate to survive and usually pocket change isn’t enough to sustain them. They also may commit crimes in order to have shelter and even though jail is hard, it’s still food and a place to sleep. This does not mean that all homeless people do these things but, who could blame them if they did?!
There are many abandoned buildings all across the United States and some have been recently closed. Some of these buildings such as old factories or even hospitals could be a great place for the homeless to live. In particular, a hospital that has been closed down would allow many homeless to occupy the floors and each one would have their own room and bathroom and sometimes even put two people to a room. Now, the funding part is a different story. When it comes to funding an operation like this, many people will need to pitch in and since we already pay taxes for things like overseas wars and lavish trips, the tax money would be better suited to pay for the homeless to survive in these already built buildings. It would also be possible if more people would chip in to help. It surprises me how many people complain about having to deal with the homeless but, won’t chip in for something that would get them off the streets and out of your hair.
I believe that if more people would take the time to actually talk with these people, you will realize fast that they are normal people who have been under bad circumstance for far too long. However, you cannot categorize all homeless people as belonging to one group like “Drug user” etc.. as a matter of fact, many of the homeless people I have talked to have stated that they were once married and had children but, they lost their jobs (due to no fault of their own) and they were unable to sustain their self or their families and ended up on the streets.
It has become a situation where, many of the homeless have no where to go at all. Some have families who abandoned them a long time ago and others cannot get into a shelter because, they are packed too full and no one else is allowed inside. This is a terrible situation to be in and you must keep an open mind and decide what you would do in this position as it’s too easy for people to say “Get a job, bum”. Think about what you say before you say it. The fact is, you don’t know the person and you don’t know what they are going through and therefore, you cannot judge them. This is simply about having the respect for another human being who has been unable to get their head above water. They are no different than yourself other than, you’re privileged and they are not.
If everyone would take the time to pitch in by donating blankets to them, taking them old clothes you don’t need, make extra sandwiches and bring some water (feeding them), sitting down and talking with them, just being supportive can make all the difference for these folks. You don’t need a lot of money to help them, just sharing what you already have can go a long way. I want everyone to please consider what I have said and pass the message along. Thank you for reading my blog on homelessness.
As a person who has lived most of my adult life as a co-dependent, I must say that it’s one of the most difficult things a person can go through. For myself, being co-dependent can be frustrating because, there’s a constant need for having someone around even if you don’t need their help.
Most co-dependent people are often seen as unable to do anything for their selves. However, this was not the case with me. In my life, I was co-dependent in a way that I felt the need to have bad friends and bad relationships. This is not because I enjoy negativity but, it’s more to do with wanting anyone in my life and around me so that I wasn’t alone but, I needed nothing from them.
The second type of co-dependency is a person who truly cannot function without depending on someone else. This is not just financial but also mentally, physically, sexually and spiritually. There comes a point where the person cannot be alone, cannot preform tasks without someone there to tell them they are doing it right, they constantly feel the need to talk to someone about everything and their lives are diminished.
Recently, I did something I have never done and that is to remove bad people from my life. The reason this was done is because I’m no longer needing to depend on someone else to make me happy. I’m in a good marriage and I have only 2 good friends and I’m okay with that. Letting go when you are co-dependent is extremely hard to do. For me, it took many years and I had to just do it. I know that sounds crazy to a co-dependent person but, sometimes “cold turkey” is the best way to go.
If you’re in a co-dependent relationship, keep in mind that some partners play off of that and enjoy knowing that they can do anything and everything they want and you won’t leave because, you don’t want to be alone. This is very common in semi-abusive and full-abusive relationships. If you have a loving partner, you will find it harder to do much of anything when your partner is not around and thus will develop “Separation Anxiety Disorder” and yes I know what you’re thinking “Only kids and animals go through that”, that’s a myth, there are many adults who can also suffer from S.A.D.
You may also find that in a co-dependent friendship that you’re giving more than you’re getting. It’s often the case that people often “over do it” when it comes to pleasing the other person and no I’m not talking about sexual. In this case, I’m referring to the acts like being a “Yes man” and saying yes to everything they want you to do because, you fear losing the friendship if you don’t. Keep in mind: A real friend will not abandon the friendship if you abandon the codependency.
RECOVERING FROM CODEPENDENCY
Abstinence. Abstinence or sobriety is necessary to recover from codependency. The goal is to bring your attention back to yourself, to have an internal, rather than external, “locus of control.” This means that your actions are primarily motivated by your values, needs, and feelings, not someone else’s. You learn to meet those needs in healthy ways.Perfect abstinence or sobriety isn’t necessary for progress, and it’s impossible with respect to codependency with people. You need and depend upon others and therefore give and compromise in relationships. Instead of abstinence, you learn to detach and not control, people-please, or obsess about others. You become more self-directed and autonomous.
If you’re involved with an abuser or addict or grew up as the child of one, you may be afraid to displease your partner, and it can require great courage to break that pattern of conceding our power to someone else.
Awareness. It’s said that denial is the hallmark of addiction. This is true whether you’re an alcoholic or in love with one. Not only do codependents deny their own addiction – whether to a drug, activity, or person – they deny their feelings, and especially their needs, particularly emotional needs for nurturing and real intimacy.You may have grown up in a family where you weren’t nurtured, your opinions and feelings weren’t respected, and your emotional needs weren’t adequately met. Over time, rather than risk rejection or criticism, you learned to ignore your needs and feelings and believed that you were wrong. Some decided to become self-sufficient or find comfort in sex, food, drugs, or work.All this leads to low self-esteem. To reverse these destructive habits, you first must become aware of them. The most damaging obstacle to self-esteem is negative self-talk. Most people aren’t aware of their internal voices that push and criticize them — their “Pusher,” “Perfectionist,” and “Critic.”1
Acceptance.Healing essentially involves self-acceptance. This is not only a step, but a life-long journey. People come to therapy to change themselves, not realizing that the work is about accepting themselves. Ironically, before you can change, you have to accept the situation. As they say, “What you resist, persists.”In recovery, more about yourself is revealed that requires acceptance, and life itself presents limitations and losses to accept. This is maturity. Accepting reality opens the doors of possibility. Change then happens. New ideas and energy emerge that previously stagnated from self-blame and fighting reality. For example, when you feel sad, lonely, or guilty, instead of making yourself feel worse, you have self-compassion, soothe yourself, and take steps to feel better.Self-acceptance means that you don’t have to please everyone for fear that they won’t like you. You honor your needs and unpleasant feelings and are forgiving of yourself and others. This goodwill toward yourself allows you to be self-reflective without being self-critical. Your self-esteem and confidence grow, and consequently, you don’t allow others to abuse you or tell you what to do. Instead of manipulating, you become more authentic and assertive, and are capable of greater intimacy.
Action.Insight without action only gets you so far. In order to grow, self-awareness and self-acceptance must be accompanied by new behavior. This involves taking risks and venturing outside your comfort one. It may involve speaking up, trying something new, going somewhere alone, or setting a boundary. It also means setting internal boundaries by keeping commitments to yourself, or saying “no” to your Critic or other old habits you want to change. Instead of expecting others to meet all your needs and make you happy, you learn to take actions to meet them, and do things that give you fulfillment and satisfaction in your life.Each time you try out new behavior or take a risk, you learn something new about yourself and your feelings and needs. You’re creating a stronger sense of yourself, as well as self-confidence and self-esteem. This builds upon itself in a positive feedback loop vs. the downward spiral of codependency, which creates more fear, depression, and low self-esteem.Words are actions. They have power and reflect your self-esteem. Becoming assertive is a learning process and is perhaps the most powerful tool in recovery. Assertiveness requires that you know yourself and risk making that public. It entails setting limits. This is respecting and honoring yourself. You get to be the author of your life – what you’ll do and not do and how people will treat you.2