I was watching a documentary today called “You’re not splitting up my family”. I’m shocked by how the twin boys were being treated by their father and grandma. Their mother passed away and were being raised by their father who’s an alcoholic and who’s abusive. He kept calling the boys a bastard and telling the social workers that he was going to kill them.
The boys were constantly in trouble at just 12 years old. They were having a lot of trouble with their mom’s death, their grandma hated them and wanted nothing to do with them. It seems that she caused a lot of the anger that the twin’s father had as she was an abusive grandma.
Social services continued to stay in their lives and see them for a little more than 12 weeks before removing them from their home with the father. They were both placed with an Aunt and Uncle. The father didn’t have any interest in being back in their lives. He would often say in front of them that he hated them and wanted nothing to do with them. The grandma said the same. I can’t imagine a life like that but, I’m not surprised by their behavior. To see how it was affecting the boys to know they weren’t wanted by anyone except their Aunt and Uncle. It’s just horrible.
When the boys were 22, they were caught back up with the camera crew who asked them what their lives had been like from age 12-22. The boys had been in quite a bit of trouble, in and out in jail. The camera lady then went to see the grandma who said she wanted nothing to do with the boys still. That she was now blind and didn’t want them stealing from her. She’s happy that they were taken away. Then they met up with the father who’s still drinking heavily and wants nothing to do with the boys either. He claims that he wants them to get their life straightened out yet, he doesn’t have his life straightened out. The one son now has a son and he wants to be a good father to his son. The other one is constantly in and out of jail, homeless and on drugs.
This is just a basic summary of the documentary but, the reason I wrote this blog is because I was so shocked at how parents hate their children, how having no one affects a child and how the father and grandma in this situation are to blame for the boys behavior. What would you do if you were in this situation? If you have been in this situation, please tell me what it was like.
Here’s the link to the documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqMRoGBxegE
Well, the dreaded mother in law is back. I want to say first off that I did not want her back in our home and I’m really angry that I basically was forced to let her come back here. She came here earlier this week and hasn’t left yet because we haven’t been able to drive her the 2 hours back to her house. Anyway, she was here all of one day before she started in again about we had to take her to kingdom hall and my husband was at work, we only have one car so it wasn’t going to happen so, she says “I’m going to walk” and I laughed because it’s 2 miles from our home, she can barely walk through the house muchless 2 miles away. She tells me that she must walk because she “has to put in hours for Jehovah”. Oh my God, so anyway, she takes off walking and she’s gone 3 minutes and comes back and says “It’s too hot, I can’t do it, so now what am I supposed to do”. I have no idea what she’s supposed to do, I’m without a car when my husband’s at work.
So then Wednesday night comes around and she’s like “I need you to take me to kingdom hall tomorrow night” and my husband says to her “I told you that we’re not involved with those people and we’re not going to drive you to kingdom hall, you need to call over there and have someone from the organization give you a ride” well that just set her off and she wanted to leave, which by the way, she’s always threatening to do. So she ends up calling and talking to I guess an Elder who tells her that they will have someone pick her up and they will call her when they are on their way. Ok, so she doesn’t hear anything by mid day yesterday and so again she starts in about us taking her to kingdom hall, we’re not going to take her and we reminded her of that again. So finally, she gets in touch with someone who comes to pick her up and she leaves. We always know that when she goes to the meetings, she comes back with a vengeance. I have no idea what they are teaching her about “worldly people” but whatever it is, it’s causing her to come back filled with hate.
So last night I ended up talking to my husband about things going on here and what I needed from him. We ended up raising our voices a little but we were still in the privacy of our bedroom. Well, I hear her slamming doors, boxes and throwing a bunch of stuff in boxes and bags. Her room wall is shared with my son’s room wall and it’s 3:30 in the morning and I’m pissed off because she’s making a bunch of noise pitching a temper tantrum. So I tell my husband, “You need to go in there and tell her to stop her bullshit or she can go walking back home”. He gets up and goes in there and she’s got her head spinning in a 360 degree spin, she’s still slamming boxes and yelling about how much she hates me and she’s leaving and this and that. My husband said “I don’t give a damn what you’re mad about but you’re not going to wake up the baby”. So he walks away and she’s still fuming and she slams one more box and then finally stops.
I told my husband that I’m not going to deal with this and that she shouldn’t have been here to begin with and she needs to return home but, we’re not taking her. I have plans for today and I have plans this weekend and neither includes driving her 2 hours back to her house. I’m actually rather annoyed with this attitude and idea that she’s actually going somewhere when she gets mad. We don’t have money to be making those kind of trips, she doesn’t have a car or anyone who lives anywhere near our house and there’s no bus line. I know that she’ll be on the phone with her other son soon enough expecting him to drive all the way out here and because he’s such a mama’s boy, I’m sure he’ll do it.
Most importantly, I don’t care what she thinks about me at all and I don’t need her help or support. All I’m concerned about is how my son feels. He’s almost 2 years old and she’s just emotionally damaging him by walking in and out of his life. My son already doesn’t have his grandpa in his life because he was nuts and acts crazy and does stupid things just like she does. I don’t need this kind of dysfunction and stress in his life or mine. I could honestly care less that she hates me. As long as he’s not hurt by it then I don’t care. I know that with his Autism and him being a toddler right now, he can’t possibly understand what’s going on so this has to be hard on him. I’m at the end of my rope and I think it’s honestly worse that she’s here than if she’s gone. I just know that I can’t take this anymore.
I decided to write a blog on my personal feelings of the military and I know that for some of you this will be a touchy subject and will probably make many of you angry but, allow me to explain.
I’ve never been one to associate with the military as I wasn’t raised up in it or exposed to it in any way. I didn’t have any real strong feelings about soldiers until recently and now I have enough in my mind to write this blog. A few months ago, I was sitting in my car at a convenience store and I saw a man and woman walk through the parking lot and both of them had their uniform on. i’m assuming Army based on the color of the uniform. As they were slowly walking by, the woman turned to the man and said “Watch this, when we walk in we will get automatic respect, I love wearing my uniform out in public because people are always thanking me for my service and giving me discounts”. I became very angry about this and I thought “Wow, so you walk around in your uniform just to get people to bow down to you and to give you nearly free items”. I don’t know how many of you would have felt hearing that but for me, it was so shallow and made me feel like they just were looking for attention.
My opinion the military is this: I feel that wars are no longer about protecting our country and I do not feel that soldiers are fighting for our freedom and here’s why, President Bush would often get on National Television and make threats to the Middle East. He would have selfish motives that was putting our country in danger to begin with and by picking a fight with people who have nothing to lose, was just asking for our country to be attacked. After viewing a lot of footage concerning 9/11 it became clear that it was not the work of terrorists at all, as a matter of fact the facts that were given stated it was one type of plane when in fact, it was a different type of plane and I along with many others, feel like this was something that was planned by our own government. No, I’m not paranoid and no I’m not one to follow many conspiracy theories but, looking at facts alone, it’s clear that it was not a terrorist attack. You may do the research yourself and you will find out the exact same thing as I did.
President Obama has followed in the footsteps of Bush and has made several announcements on TV of attacking the Middle East and sending the military out to do what he and Bush are too afraid to do themselves. So often these family members of the soldiers are left alone for months or even a year or more to fend for their self while their husband or wife is gone away at war. Have you noticed that we don’t actually have freedom and especially not nearly as much as we did before these Middle East conflicts started? As a matter of fact, our freedoms are being taken from us every day. Now we have a government who insists on even taking our freedom of religion away from us and freedom of speech is completely out of the question or a person can be imprisoned. The only reason anyone would have to protect our country now is because our president’s have pissed off people in the Middle East and now they are taking it out the American people as if we have some responsibility in our president’s poor decisions.
When many war veterans are no longer of use to the Military, often times they come back and are forgotten and left homeless, broke and with PTSD. The government doesn’t care, the president doesn’t care and many people in the United States won’t lift a finger to help. So knowing all of these things, why would you support the Military and the Troops? Why should anyone put their self in a position to do the dirty work of the President just to come back broken and broke? I especially, will not give automatic respect to someone who voluntarily signed up for this and are simply doing a job just like everyone else in the working world, especially to people like the one’s I saw at the store who use their uniform in a disgraceful manner to get freebies and thank you’s. Many of you may hate me after this blog but seriously, I feel that I should be able to reserve the right to tell it like I see it and if you think about it, it honestly makes sense.
Adding to this blog: My grandfather was in the Korean War, he was in the army and when he came back he started drinking very heavily and he was very intimidated by various different noises and people. He became an angry person that no one recognized and he would tell stories of the horrors. He did not sign up for the military, he was drafted. He said that being in the military was something that was common then and that people were told they were fighting for one thing, when much like today, it’s for selfish reasons. I guess you could say that his being in the military basically killed him, since he was never the same again after returning home and basically lived his life in a never ending nightmare. He said that it was just like having a standard job except much longer hours and that you just became numb to killing people. I’m sorry but, I cant see how a life like that would benefit anyone.
I currently have a mother in law who’s been a JW for I guess about 5 years now. She became caught up with the witnesses every since her marriage went south and she became depressed. These people some how came to know my mother in law and “saved her” from her “worldly life”. This is someone who was a devout Catholic but, who drifted when she attempted suicide. Now, I’ve never been particularly fond of Jehovah’s Witnesses and that’s primarily because, I didn’t like the way that they pushed their material on you and wouldn’t answer any questions that you had (aside from what’s in the Watchtower). However, I attempted to get along with her any way. Now mind you, she was in there for about 2 years when I met her and she was not as pushy back then. For the past year, she’s pushed her material and her speeches.
She comes to visit often claiming to help with her grandchild and yet, every single time we always have a stupid argument about her organization and she always makes a comment on everything that I keep in my room. She claims to be a devout witness but, she’s not following this “Be like Jesus” mentality that she walks into Kingdom Halls with. Oh, around her Jehovah’s Witness crowd she’s all about how great she is and how humble she is but, wait there’s more, when she’s away from those people she’s a completely different person. She’s virtually abandoned her son and myself as far as emotionally/spiritually and she often remind us of our “fate” which of course to her means an eternal death that doesn’t consist of this paradise on earth. She’s constantly telling us that she’s going to abandon her grandson and the “rest of us” if we do anything that “Jehovah” doesn’t agree with. Basically, this includes anything that the Watchtower doesn’t agree with or the organization their self doesn’t agree with. So yep: no holiday’s, no patriotic crap, no voting, no higher education, no pictures of Jesus, no crosses, no Holy Bible, NADA! I’m sorry but, I’m not in that group and I’m tired of living my life this way, offending her at every breath without saying a word.
I have spoken to other Jehovah’s Witnesses who have told me that this is not what they are about and that she has not learned self control or humility and that this is not the way she should be behaving. This being over critical of everything I do and say. I won’t get into all the reasons why she’s wrong in my eyes but what I will tell you is, I feel that no one should be this obsessed with any religion that they cannot get along with family. I love God just as much as the next person but, unless God leads me from people who are harmful to me, I’m not going to abandon anyone and I don’t allow leaders of my church to rule my life either. What happens with me is between me and God and I would never depend on anyone to save me every time I wander. My mother in law is different, she has to run and call up her “brothers and sisters” every time she see’s me “doing wrong”. I can’t believe the speech I got over a couple of 6 inch Angel figurines. I’m not talking about filthy Angel’s either. I’m talking about Christian Angel’s. They were sitting quietly on my desk bothering no one, because of course they are inanimate objects and oh my gosh, I never thought I would hear the end of it. So she calls her JW friends and they tell me that she’s not allowed to tell me what I keep in my room and so of course she obey’s them and not 2 months later, she’s on a kick about other things in my bedroom. Claiming she will go home if I don’t remove them.
My husband tells her all of the time, if you want to go home because of what we have in our bedroom, I will be happy to take you and you can stay there. She calms down for a day or two and then goes right back to the speeches again. Is this how Jehovah’s Witnesses really act? How do you feel about my situation and what I have said?
The one subject that can put people of all ages into a frenzy but, it’s become a serious problem in the United States. Anyone who has Facebook or reads the news, is aware of too many stories of people abusing or neglecting their kids.
Most recently, there have been many stories about parents who leave their kids in hot cars while they do whatever it is they like. This has caused so many heated arguments and as I was reading through these comments, I realized that many people were outraged that a parent would do this and there were a few people who were on the fence about it. All in all, many people could not understand why these parents were doing this and why they had custody of their kids to begin with. I personally feel that no child should be left in a car whether it’s hot, cold or perfect weather. It’s not much to do with the weather but rather, it’s a fast way to get the attention of someone who may want to kidnap your kids or drive off with your car. Then you have the child getting out of the car seat and pulling the car out of gear or leaving the vehicle and becoming lost. It’s simply irresponsible to leave your child alone whether in the car, at the store or at home.
Then there are the other parents who intentionally abandon their kids because they don’t want them or they are trying to hide them because, mommy has a new man and he doesn’t want kids.
Finally, you have children who are being abused and sometimes to the point of death. I have read many news stories and seen many documentaries where children were being locked in a room or a cold basement. Where those children were either being raped, beaten or starved. These types of things happen all the time and most of those kids will never receive help.
I think that if people are annoyed with their kids or simply don’t want them and they have already given birth, no matter the age they should give them over to the Department of Social Services and sign over their rights. This way, the child doesn’t have to suffer and the parents don’t have to suffer.