So many people sleep at night and they wake up like toast popping out of toasters. I’m not a fan of mornings or morning people so this doesn’t work the same way for me.
I have had Chronic Insomnia for as long as I can remember and I have always found it hard to fall asleep with or without sleep medicine at night. For me, being awake at night while everyone else in my house is sleeping, it gives me a chance to either blog or catch up on all of that work I couldn’t finish during the day. After all, it’s easier to clean up everything when no one is going behind you making a mess.
I honestly don’t see a big problem with insomnia but I, have also become used to being awake at night and it’s what works for me. I have been told that if I will go to bed early, I will feel great early in the morning. That was not true at all. I felt like crap the next morning even after, sleeping the recommended amount. As a matter of fact, even in the mornings, energy drinks, coffee and soda do not work for me to make me wake up and stay awake. So there it is, I function great at night and horribly during the day. I have never understood morning people and I probably never will.
I had a friend who was the most happy morning person you would ever know. She was wide open at 5:00 am and was able to sustain that energy level the entire day until at least 10 pm. I hated being around her in the morning because, I simply could not be awake much less talking that early (if I had slept). I’m sure you all know that super hyper morning person.
Chronic insomnia is something that people who don’t have it, don’t understand. You can tell they have no clue by the way they talk to you and talk about you. Suddenly, you’re this irresponsible person who’s immature and lazy. They are the kind of people who start making suggestions about taking substances like Melatonin. Why? So that your body can quickly adapt to it and not be able to sleep without it? NO THANKS! Well, I’ve been up the entire night now and I wrote this blog 9 months ago and forgot to publish it, must be all that sleep I’m missing lol. Thanks for reading!
In this blog I’m going to discuss bad associates and people who burn bridges, so that all of you can know what to look for.
There are many different types of friends in this world, let’s look at a few:
Friends for a season – These are the friends that are very temporary and only have one mission and that’s to feel better about themselves or to make you feel better
Friends for life – These are the friends who would fight the devil himself to protect you, they will only make judgments about your life that will help you and will support you no matter what
Fake friends – These are the one’s who have an agenda, who know they will need your help in some way or they want your spouse and think making friends with you is the easiest way.
Bridge Burners – These are the kind that are sheep in wolf’s clothing, they are out to make your life as miserable as possible for their own purpose.
I’m going to focus this blog on Bridge Burners because, I recently with through this with someone. I had a so called friend who was focused on “helping me” to get on my feet and had the agenda of getting me to sign up for her business. Now, that was all great for the first I don’t know 3 weeks. I kept my distance for the most part and let it play out. In the beginning I felt happy, later on I realized that this was no friendship and shortly thereafter, the true colors were shown. A bridge burner is someone who appears helpless or to need your help and basically fish for information and then burn their bridges with you. They will often turn on you at the drop of a hat, become cocky or rude and then flaunt all of their new learned information. They often take on the appearance of someone who’s well maintained and in somewhat control.
People who burn their bridges, often do not realize the impact or consequences of doing so and tend to repeat such action with every new person they meet. It’s almost like an endless cycle that will not stop until that person realizes that what they are doing, isn’t the answer. After so long, the person will understand that they have lost something that could have been potentially life changing for them. There are people like myself who refuses to follow up with someone that I’m done with. Other will people give many chances and though I believe in second chances, that has conditions. In my case, the person I’m referring to decided this was a funny matter and straight up said that they will say whatever they want to. That’s when you can tell that the person is enjoying being in control of the situation. The difference is, many people like myself, enjoy knowing that person not only isn’t in control but, that their time of fun and happiness will come to an end.
Now, there’s several things you must watch out for so that you can identify a bridge burner almost immediately.
They seem overly friendly, despite not knowing you
They have an agenda that’s likely known to you or appears to you
They have bipolar mimicking behaviors or thoughts
They seem to be entertained by your being in a bad situation or having less than they do
They constantly comment on what they do for you.
They list off “problems” that they have and look to you to repair it.
They often don’t have time for you or are rude when they finally do come around.
The above describes in detail the different ways to know if someone is going to be a bad associate or a bridge burner within the first month or so of associating with them. You must be extremely cautious around someone who starts to show the signs and make sure that you haven’t or don’t tell them much of anything about yourself, that you know is bad to get out. A bad associate or bridge burner will make sure they spread rumors about you or tell everything they know. They will become manipulative and hateful. For example, in my case the person was being unprofessional, rude, mocking, vengeful and had periods of bipolar moments and also making “joking” threats. Such as “I would love to slap you right now”. It’s the kind of person you cannot be exposed to for long periods. That usually is a clear indication that not only will they not be supportive of you but, they may turn into someone who becomes a legal problem to you and your family as well. The important thing is that you rid yourself of toxic people as quickly as possible!
Everyone knows the famous quote “Oh, the tangled webs we weave, when first we learn to deceive” Let me talk a little about open deception.
I’m a person of open deception and by that i mean that I put on a face when I’m around people. Allow me to explain. You see, I’m a person with many anxieties, fears, sadness and trauma. However, if I showed people that part of me, I would open myself up to discrimination, hate and negative comments. I recently proved this through telling one person about me in depth. That person was supposedly my friend and I’m real careful about how I describe a friend. Basically, I do this thing where when someone is fairly new in my life, I tell them one or two things about myself that are true to see their reaction. I found that this one though disagreed with how I feel, kept coming around anyway. After only 2 weeks, she used it to her advantage that I was this person underneath and began verbally abusing me, mocking me and so on. Then she texts and calls later on as if nothing is wrong. Now, I didn’t answer the phone or the text however, I think that she’s trying to use me as a vent.
I’m the kind of person who’s done when I say I’m done and by that, there’s no real second chances. I figure in the case I listed above, if she’s that kind of person after only 2 weeks, what kind of nightmare friend would she be for an eternity. That’s the warning signs that help you to get out of something and fast! So now, you can tell sometimes when a person is wearing a mask unless like myself, they put on a really good poker face. After years of dealing with my emotions and masking them from the world, I’ve gotten pretty good at keeping it from people. Is this a good thing? Well, I’ll tell you the good and the bad.
The Good – It keeps people from knowing they can run over you, abuse you or telling you BS stories that never actually happened to them, in order to make you feel better.
The Bad – If something were to happen to you, say you collapsed or you died, it would leave the people around you completely confused about what happened to you. It makes you feel worse about yourself when you finally escape that social situation.
It doesn’t sound like much of a difference, either way there’s a negative to it and there’s not much you can do about that. Sure, you could tell everyone anything you want about yourself that’s true and end up taking the risks of them either leaving your life or making your business known to the whole world and both are very likely to happen. I believe that a part of being selectively deceptive by omitting information can be both valuable to you and also devastating at the same time. Here’s a prime example:
Say someone commits a crime and the Police interview the suspects mom and she has no clue about his thoughts or feelings prior to this crime, she’s very likely to say “My child wouldn’t do that, they weren’t that kind of person” and other people who do know what that person is about, shakes their head in disbelief. This is an example of a way that it can be detrimental to someone else and to yourself. In the first place, you didn’t think enough of it to go and get help before you did something horrible and you have your family and or friends puzzled as to what’s really going on.
Then you have on the other hand your thoughts, feelings and emotions. You worry that if you tell anyone how you feel, they are going to break out in negativity, make drama out of it or insist you’re crazy and need to get help. You know that you’re not crazy, you know you don’t need more drama and therefore, you’re going to make decisions about what to do. Some people commit suicide, they don’t want to live with the fact that everyone now knows their business. Some people check their self into a mental institution because, they have been convinced they are crazy. Some people start drinking, taking drugs or involving themselves in other risky behaviors, others go looking for love in the wrong places. There are so many different people in this world and you cannot assume that someone hasn’t been through anything or they aren’t struggling just because they have on a mask. If you’re not willing to deal with their issues or be a good support system for them, try to stay out of it. Don’t make a big scene to other people or social media.
My husband was diagnosed with Schizoaffective 2 years ago and at first we were wondering what could be done for him. They put him on every medication they could and nothing helped. Finally, they put him on Xanax that was for “Emergency use only” and basically if he would have a manic fit in public or at home, he would take a Xanax to relieve the symptoms temporarily. That worked for a long time but now, he’s not taking the medication anymore because it’s not helping him and he doesn’t want to go any higher on the dose because he’s afraid he’ll be taking too much and on top of that more than one pill makes him sleepy.
I have noticed that over the past year my husband has been declining in his mental health. He sleeps a lot and gets sidetracked all of the time. He spends a lot more time doing useless things like spending too much time on Facebook, Twitter and Sports websites. He doesn’t spend much time with us anymore and he’s become very animated where he sings random songs when no music is playing and he talks randomly on and on about nothing. He definitely doesn’t help much around the house and when he does it’s because I’ve literally bitched at him until he does it. He’s become a lot more argumentative about everything and does not handle constructive criticism at all. Anytime that I bring to his attention that he’s acting out, he says that I’m making it up, basically lying about it. Afterall, he doesn’t see things for what they really are.
He has a lot of OCD’s including being afraid of ants and seeing germs that they “leave behind”, washing his hands a lot and compulsively checking Facebook. For a long time he would become extremely upset if our son got dirty or made any messes because he expected him to know that messes are “dirty” and “Germey” lucky for us, he has since lightened up on that part and he’s no longer bothered by it.
There’s so much more I could write but, I would be here all night. All I can say is that living with a Schizo is one of the hardest things you’ll have to endure. It’s so difficult to see what they see and live in their world even for a minute. I’m hoping that at some point, things will turn around and he’ll be able to function again normally.
If any of you have similar circumstances or know more about this condition, please comment below. Thanks!
There are many people who marry someone without even considering what their in-laws will be like. I think that many people are in good favor with the in-laws in the beginning but, after the marriage has been going for a while, things start to go south. In my case, my in-laws hate me. You see, I’m not the same race as my husband and in his culture they have very strict beliefs on what a wife should be like. In this case, women are sex objects and they are also home-makers and nothing more. The women are supposed to obey what the man says and tolerate anything that happens, even if the man is abusive.
On the other hand, I was raised differently. It was not optional for a woman to work because, it took both incomes in order to pay all of the bills and have entertainment money as well such as going on vacation at least twice a year. The woman was not slave to the man. The man did his own laundry, cooking and never treated the woman as if she owed him anything. Due to this difference in cultures, my in-laws have decided that I’m an evil, outspoken witch. In fact, my mother in law truly believes that I’m the spawn of Satan because, I’m not a submissive wife who doesn’t defend myself.
Though everyone’s situation with their in-laws are different, the wife is usually subject to more stress from the husband’s family than vice-versa. This can often cause problems in the marriage and eventually, the man either has to choose between his wife or his family or, the wife decides she’s not willing to tolerate it any more and just leaves. It’s unclear why things are so bad between in-laws and married couples. In my experiences, the differences of opinion on everything, the difference in cultures and the way each of the people involved were raised has a lot to do with the conflicts. Almost always, the mother in law rejects her daughter in law because, she feels as though the daughter in law will never be worthy of her “Perfect son”.
Then, as the couple goes on to have children, often times the mother in law steps in and tries to tell her son or daughter what to do with their child and why their spouse is doing it all wrong. I’ve even heard of nightmare in-laws where they obtain a key to their child’s house and they go in whenever they want, rearrange things in the house and tell them what to do with their life and why it’s all screwed up. You rarely hear of this problem with father in laws and I assume it’s because, they are happy that their child grew up enough to move out, get married and give them grandchildren and almost always, the father in law is happy to just be free from raising children. However, the father in law always has the tough job of playing referee when the mother in law gets involved in things she shouldn’t.
For those who are experiencing problems with their in-laws, please leave a comment at the bottom of this blog and let me know what your experience has been and what you think of the above statements.