In this blog I’m going to discuss bad associates and people who burn bridges, so that all of you can know what to look for.
There are many different types of friends in this world, let’s look at a few:
Friends for a season – These are the friends that are very temporary and only have one mission and that’s to feel better about themselves or to make you feel better
Friends for life – These are the friends who would fight the devil himself to protect you, they will only make judgments about your life that will help you and will support you no matter what
Fake friends – These are the one’s who have an agenda, who know they will need your help in some way or they want your spouse and think making friends with you is the easiest way.
Bridge Burners – These are the kind that are sheep in wolf’s clothing, they are out to make your life as miserable as possible for their own purpose.
I’m going to focus this blog on Bridge Burners because, I recently with through this with someone. I had a so called friend who was focused on “helping me” to get on my feet and had the agenda of getting me to sign up for her business. Now, that was all great for the first I don’t know 3 weeks. I kept my distance for the most part and let it play out. In the beginning I felt happy, later on I realized that this was no friendship and shortly thereafter, the true colors were shown. A bridge burner is someone who appears helpless or to need your help and basically fish for information and then burn their bridges with you. They will often turn on you at the drop of a hat, become cocky or rude and then flaunt all of their new learned information. They often take on the appearance of someone who’s well maintained and in somewhat control.
People who burn their bridges, often do not realize the impact or consequences of doing so and tend to repeat such action with every new person they meet. It’s almost like an endless cycle that will not stop until that person realizes that what they are doing, isn’t the answer. After so long, the person will understand that they have lost something that could have been potentially life changing for them. There are people like myself who refuses to follow up with someone that I’m done with. Other will people give many chances and though I believe in second chances, that has conditions. In my case, the person I’m referring to decided this was a funny matter and straight up said that they will say whatever they want to. That’s when you can tell that the person is enjoying being in control of the situation. The difference is, many people like myself, enjoy knowing that person not only isn’t in control but, that their time of fun and happiness will come to an end.
Now, there’s several things you must watch out for so that you can identify a bridge burner almost immediately.
They seem overly friendly, despite not knowing you
They have an agenda that’s likely known to you or appears to you
They have bipolar mimicking behaviors or thoughts
They seem to be entertained by your being in a bad situation or having less than they do
They constantly comment on what they do for you.
They list off “problems” that they have and look to you to repair it.
They often don’t have time for you or are rude when they finally do come around.
The above describes in detail the different ways to know if someone is going to be a bad associate or a bridge burner within the first month or so of associating with them. You must be extremely cautious around someone who starts to show the signs and make sure that you haven’t or don’t tell them much of anything about yourself, that you know is bad to get out. A bad associate or bridge burner will make sure they spread rumors about you or tell everything they know. They will become manipulative and hateful. For example, in my case the person was being unprofessional, rude, mocking, vengeful and had periods of bipolar moments and also making “joking” threats. Such as “I would love to slap you right now”. It’s the kind of person you cannot be exposed to for long periods. That usually is a clear indication that not only will they not be supportive of you but, they may turn into someone who becomes a legal problem to you and your family as well. The important thing is that you rid yourself of toxic people as quickly as possible!
I find it to be very obnoxious where we live in a society that doesn’t truly allow a Freedom of Speech without a person being labeled as mentally ill, ignorant, racist or bullying. It seems that people are more sensitive in this generation than ever before. You virtually can’t say anything without being attacked for it and then people wonder why you’re so defensive and have all of these walls going up. It’s true that other people can sometimes bring out something from deep within you that you never knew you had. That’s exactly what I’m going to discuss in this blog.
To all of my fellow bloggers, you understand and know the passion of being able to write all of your thoughts out and hope that at least one person will be inspired by them. Your words are incredibly powerful and they express what we could only hope to say from our mouths rather than our keyboard. Sometimes you can be greatly criticized for your words and people will be quick to label you and then before you know it, suddenly you have become a bully. I find this to be incredibly unjust.
When it comes to Freedom of Speech for many American’s, how much of that do you really have? Sure it’s in the constitution and many people believe in it but, what happens when the people who are looking for a fight could give a damn less about the constitution? You see there are some people who are so sensitive and cannot handle anything. Those people virtually live in a bubble and stand on eggshells. You know the one’s! They are those who have a miserable existence or were overly spoiled as kids and are now facing a harsh world.
I would describe such people in the same way I would “Addiction”. The people are incredibly “Addicted” to maintaining a false sense of importance and struggling to make their name known. Any attention is better than none and they will fight to the death to feel important and to have support from another person just like them. So here’s what ends up happening, they type in keywords into Google or some other search engine looking for some debate they believe they know everything about. You’ll often find these people on sites like these, Facebook and YouTube. For instance: Someone who’s feeling like they have never had a fair shake at life due to color will type in the word “Racism” looking for something, anything to vent their frustrations on. It’s easy to find hundreds of blogs and video’s about so called Racism.
I have met several people on YouTube who are looking to call you a Racist or Ignorant. They have this grudge against the world, a world they believe to be full of people who are out to get them and suddenly, you’re the target. So now what? Well, you could defend yourself and then once again become labeled by being called “Stupid, Mentally Ill or a Bully”. Yep, there’s that sense of importance, that sense of proving their point. Here’s the problem, you can’t be responsible for someone else’s issues and though they automatically make you the target, you have to know when to keep fighting that battle. Here you have some faceless, nameless person who’s on a frenzy and you have to decide whether you’ll engage them or not and if so, will you say things you never imagined you would to them out of anger?
Now, many people do let their emotions get the best of them and when targeted directly, many people will say as many harsh things back as possible and then you have opened that big, flashing, neon sign that says “Thanks for proving me right”. The people who are targeting you and anyone else they can find, love that noticeable flashing sign. It’s their way of seeing the world to be a dark and negative place and suddenly, you’re the blame and reason for why people like them can’t cope. Before you know it, your entire day has been ruined by some person online, who’s gotten the best of you. Then you carry that stress throughout your day and impacting every person you encounter in that day’s time whether it’s at work or at home. Now, you’ve spread this incredible ridiculousness to other people who you’ve just stressed out and they are spreading it too now and suddenly, you’ve got this plague going around.
In the end remember this, people are going to be who they are but, you can change how you handle the situation so that you don’t become the one inflicting these negative emotions onto other people and though you can’t save everyone from the stress, if you save just one person from it by not inflicting it on them, that’s one person who may just go on to have a good day. Thank you and I hope you enjoyed this blog!