I have been thinking back about all of the people I used to be friends with and why I was friends with them. As time passes by most people end friendships and start new one’s. That’s the cycle of life for almost everyone. Sure there are a few friends that you keep throughout your lifetime or at least for many years. Most people though, are here for a season and that’s it. What do we learn from those people? Well a lot of times we learn the warning signs of what a bad friend is and how to avoid getting one in the future. Sometimes we learn how to dig deep inside and find those emotions that were once there but became lost.
I had a few friends that I thought were going to be friends for life. It turns out, they weren’t real friends at all as some betrayed me and others just moved on and lost interest. Those that betrayed me did so behind my back and i didn’t find out until much later. I have other friends that I’ve had for a long time who I still talk to but live far away from. It’s not really a bad thing because I’m learning about friends even now and it helps me to form new friendships and dump old friendships that have lost their character.
I think at some point all of us wonder why we were friends with someone that we cared about or hung out with. As we mature, things change and we begin to realize that those people no longer fit our lifestyle. For instance, people who you just hang with or party with, won’t be friends for life because as you mature and lose interest in those things, you lose interest in the people who weren’t really friends, they were just someone fun to be around. Then there are those who end up getting married and having children and are focused on their new family life and less interested in their social life.
The one or two great friends that you keep can be very understanding of your new life as they probably have the same one. They understand that you can’t always talk on the phone, text or hang out because they have kids too. Still, when you’re able to talk to that friend you realize that nothing has changed between you and it’s actually refreshing to talk to another adult for a change, besides your spouse. Everyone needs someone other than their spouse to talk to, otherwise things can get pretty frustrating.
i don’t think that people should ever be friends with their ex’s regardless of how the relationship ended. i think that it’s crossing boundaries because they will always know your business and always be comparing the life you had with them, with the life you have with your new spouse. They will always be stalking your Facebook page or making snide remarks. It’s just a bad mix all together.
Feel free to comment on my blog and tell me your experiences.
My husband was diagnosed with Schizoaffective 2 years ago and at first we were wondering what could be done for him. They put him on every medication they could and nothing helped. Finally, they put him on Xanax that was for “Emergency use only” and basically if he would have a manic fit in public or at home, he would take a Xanax to relieve the symptoms temporarily. That worked for a long time but now, he’s not taking the medication anymore because it’s not helping him and he doesn’t want to go any higher on the dose because he’s afraid he’ll be taking too much and on top of that more than one pill makes him sleepy.
I have noticed that over the past year my husband has been declining in his mental health. He sleeps a lot and gets sidetracked all of the time. He spends a lot more time doing useless things like spending too much time on Facebook, Twitter and Sports websites. He doesn’t spend much time with us anymore and he’s become very animated where he sings random songs when no music is playing and he talks randomly on and on about nothing. He definitely doesn’t help much around the house and when he does it’s because I’ve literally bitched at him until he does it. He’s become a lot more argumentative about everything and does not handle constructive criticism at all. Anytime that I bring to his attention that he’s acting out, he says that I’m making it up, basically lying about it. Afterall, he doesn’t see things for what they really are.
He has a lot of OCD’s including being afraid of ants and seeing germs that they “leave behind”, washing his hands a lot and compulsively checking Facebook. For a long time he would become extremely upset if our son got dirty or made any messes because he expected him to know that messes are “dirty” and “Germey” lucky for us, he has since lightened up on that part and he’s no longer bothered by it.
There’s so much more I could write but, I would be here all night. All I can say is that living with a Schizo is one of the hardest things you’ll have to endure. It’s so difficult to see what they see and live in their world even for a minute. I’m hoping that at some point, things will turn around and he’ll be able to function again normally.
If any of you have similar circumstances or know more about this condition, please comment below. Thanks!