Abusive Dad in the U.K.

I was watching a documentary today called “You’re not splitting up my family”. I’m shocked by how the twin boys were being treated by their father and grandma. Their mother passed away and were being raised by their father who’s an alcoholic and who’s abusive. He kept calling the boys a bastard and telling the social workers that he was going to kill them. 

The boys were constantly in trouble at just 12 years old. They were having a lot of trouble with their mom’s death, their grandma hated them and wanted nothing to do with them. It seems that she caused a lot of the anger that the twin’s father had as she was an abusive grandma. 

Social services continued to stay in their lives and see them for a little more than 12 weeks before removing them from their home with the father. They were both placed with an Aunt and Uncle. The father didn’t have any interest in being back in their lives. He would often say in front of them that he hated them and wanted nothing to do with them. The grandma said the same. I can’t imagine a life like that but, I’m not surprised by their behavior. To see how it was affecting the boys to know they weren’t wanted by anyone except their Aunt and Uncle. It’s just horrible. 

When the boys were 22, they were caught back up with the camera crew who asked them what their lives had been like from age 12-22. The boys had been in quite a bit of trouble, in and out in jail. The camera lady then went to see the grandma who said she wanted nothing to do with the boys still. That she was now blind and didn’t want them stealing from her. She’s happy that they were taken away. Then they met up with the father who’s still drinking heavily and wants nothing to do with the boys either. He claims that he wants them to get their life straightened out yet, he doesn’t have his life straightened out. The one son now has a son and he wants to be a good father to his son. The other one is constantly in and out of jail, homeless and on drugs. 

This is just a basic summary of the documentary but, the reason I wrote this blog is because I was so shocked at how parents hate their children, how having no one affects a child and how the father and grandma in this situation are to blame for the boys behavior. What would you do if you were in this situation? If you have been in this situation, please tell me what it was like. 

Here’s the link to the documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqMRoGBxegE

Food Stamp/Welfare Discrimination

I want to talk today about a sensitive subject concerning people who are on Food Stamps and receive Welfare payments. The reason I’m bringing this up is because, I have seen so much discrimination against them. Too many people assuming that all of them have no jobs and are on drugs. I’m sure many of you have thought or said this a few times. Let me set some things straight.

Many people on Welfare are either disabled, lost their jobs (through no fault of their own) and have been unable to find more work because either their industry of expertise is no longer in their area or they aren’t able to compete with say someone who has more experience or a better education. Some people on welfare are working but, very limited income and qualify for it.

Many recipients on Food Stamps are the same and many of them do work but, still qualify based on income requirements. To assume that any of those people are just lazy and sucking from your tax dollars is ignorant. Also, if you would do the research, you would realize how little your tax dollars actually goes to these programs.

Let me give you facts about us. My husband has worked for 25 years paying taxes and we were doing just fine. After working 13 years at the same place, his job evaporated and we found ourselves stuck where he cannot find a job in the field he worked in anywhere. We were forced to move in with family and he was not able to find any job for over a year. He ended up on unemployment and when that ran out, we were solely dependent on family to help us. We were on Food Stamps during that time and did get some food stamps while he was working. Consider that his tax dollars all of those years paid for these programs too and when we needed help, it was available and we’re not ashamed of that. My husband finally got a job but, it’s only on the weekends and that’s just not enough and now that we have our own home and his job search is extremely limited because of us living now in a very remote area, plus his extreme lack of experience, we’re now on TANF payments (Welfare). Again, I’m not ashamed of it because all of those years he worked his ass off and paid for those programs. Now, he’s qualified for FAFSA so his school will be paid for, he’s going to school soon to get a degree so he can have a career and not have to worry about his previous job experience to get him a job. We won’t be dependent on Welfare or Food Stamps forever but, the point is to not assume that all people are just lazy. My husband isn’t lazy and he isn’t on drugs and we don’t sale the benefits that we get. We’re just struggling.

Weigh in on what you think about these programs.