Abandonment

All posts tagged Abandonment

Abusive Dad in the U.K.

Published July 19, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido

I was watching a documentary today called “You’re not splitting up my family”. I’m shocked by how the twin boys were being treated by their father and grandma. Their mother passed away and were being raised by their father who’s an alcoholic and who’s abusive. He kept calling the boys a bastard and telling the social workers that he was going to kill them. 

The boys were constantly in trouble at just 12 years old. They were having a lot of trouble with their mom’s death, their grandma hated them and wanted nothing to do with them. It seems that she caused a lot of the anger that the twin’s father had as she was an abusive grandma. 

Social services continued to stay in their lives and see them for a little more than 12 weeks before removing them from their home with the father. They were both placed with an Aunt and Uncle. The father didn’t have any interest in being back in their lives. He would often say in front of them that he hated them and wanted nothing to do with them. The grandma said the same. I can’t imagine a life like that but, I’m not surprised by their behavior. To see how it was affecting the boys to know they weren’t wanted by anyone except their Aunt and Uncle. It’s just horrible. 

When the boys were 22, they were caught back up with the camera crew who asked them what their lives had been like from age 12-22. The boys had been in quite a bit of trouble, in and out in jail. The camera lady then went to see the grandma who said she wanted nothing to do with the boys still. That she was now blind and didn’t want them stealing from her. She’s happy that they were taken away. Then they met up with the father who’s still drinking heavily and wants nothing to do with the boys either. He claims that he wants them to get their life straightened out yet, he doesn’t have his life straightened out. The one son now has a son and he wants to be a good father to his son. The other one is constantly in and out of jail, homeless and on drugs. 

This is just a basic summary of the documentary but, the reason I wrote this blog is because I was so shocked at how parents hate their children, how having no one affects a child and how the father and grandma in this situation are to blame for the boys behavior. What would you do if you were in this situation? If you have been in this situation, please tell me what it was like. 

Here’s the link to the documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqMRoGBxegE

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Adopting Pets from Shelters

Published January 18, 2015 by Amplio Recorrido

catndog

The main reason I’m writing this blog is because I was motivated by watching a TV series on Netflix called “Animal House”. It’s a show about a no kill shelter in New York called North Shore. The other reason I’m motivated is because when word spread that I take in pets that are no longer wanted, I became the drop off place for unwanted pets, primarily puppies. It was horrible to see how many people discarded their pets at my doorstep as if, they were just trash. It’s also sad that many pets are considered property under the law and nothing more.

I have adopted several animals from shelters and currently have a couple of animals that I adopted from people who couldn’t take care of them any more. Normally, this would be considered fostering and I have done a lot of that but, I plan on keeping the remaining animals I have left permanently. I currently have a cat that a woman didn’t want any more and though I knew virtually nothing about him, I decided to take him in because he needed a good home. I was told he was 14 years old but, later found out through a post she had made, the cat is actually 16 years old. I also was told that the cat couldn’t be kept any longer because the neighbor was allergic to cats and then found out she has 2 other cats that she’s keeping. So anyway, it’s a long story but the point is, when you’re adopting any kind of animal whether it be from a person, a rescue from the street or in a shelter, you never know what kind of health problems the animal may have and you certainly don’t know his/her true temperament.

In my case, I had to take the cat to the vet to find out if he was healthy or needed to be euthanized. The first 2 weeks he was here, he would not come out of hiding and he hissed every time we got near him and I thought “I can’t deal with this”. Come to find out, the cat is blind in both eyes and couldn’t see who was approaching. Finally, we had, had enough of his hiding and not socializing and forced him out of the room he was hiding in and shut the door so that he could no longer run back to that space. The entire day I would pick him up and carry him to the couch or to my bed and pet him and have him lay down so that he could get used to us without hissing. He kept us awake the entire night upset that he was being forced to socialize and to get used to the cat we already had (also a rescue). The next day, to our surprise the cat started socializing as if he had known us forever. He got on the bed, he walked through the house, he nudged my arm for me to pet him and got along well with the cat we already had who’s much younger than he is. It was amazing to see the turn around so fast and I think a lot of it is, us not allowing him to hide anymore and you know something, he doesn’t even bother going to the door of the bedroom he used to stay in.

The point in telling you all of this is because, I want you to understand that you never know what type of animal you’ll actually be getting, they are a lot of work and sometimes you’ll even feel like giving up but, you have to make the time to welcome the animal in your home and make the animal feel like you really care and that you can be trusted. The problem with most animals in shelters is that have either been abandoned or abused and possibly both. The animal isn’t likely to trust you regardless of their past situation and working with them to rehabilitate them is a lot of work and patience. Often times people get pets out of just wanting one and don’t consider everything that’s involved.

The animal, particularly dogs with previous bad behavior, will continue that behavior after you bring them home and it can be extremely troublesome and stressful, to change the animal’s mindset and behavior. They may chew your carpet, tear down your breakables, snap at you or even run when the door is open. Learn as much as you can about the animal prior to adopting him/her if possible. If you go to a shelter or the local pound, make sure they give you all the information about the animal including his/her behavior while they have been there and anything you can find out about the condition they were found in.

If you have never had a pet before, start with a small pet that you know a little something about, whether that be from online research or knowing someone with a pet. Don’t feel rushed to make a decision on which animal to take home. Walk around each cage and spend at least 10 minutes with the animals that you really like. If you’re adopting an animal that you found on the street, be sure that you have the time to rehabilitate that dog/cat before taking it home and make sure that it doesn’t present a health hazard or is dangerous. Some animals can be okay until you get them in your vehicle, that’s when the trouble can really start and make sure the dog/cats overall condition looks good before bringing it home. If it only looks like it’s starving, that’s better than a dog say with the mange.

Please share your rescue/adoption stories below and as always, thanks for reading my blog!

Out with the old, In with the new

Published December 18, 2014 by Amplio Recorrido

I have been thinking back about all of the people I used to be friends with and why I was friends with them. As time passes by most people end friendships and start new one’s. That’s the cycle of life for almost everyone. Sure there are a few friends that you keep throughout your lifetime or at least for many years. Most people though, are here for a season and that’s it. What do we learn from those people? Well a lot of times we learn the warning signs of what a bad friend is and how to avoid getting one in the future. Sometimes we learn how to dig deep inside and find those emotions that were once there but became lost.

I had a few friends that I thought were going to be friends for life. It turns out, they weren’t real friends at all as some betrayed me and others just moved on and lost interest. Those that betrayed me did so behind my back and i didn’t find out until much later. I have other friends that I’ve had for a long time who I still talk to but live far away from. It’s not really a bad thing because I’m learning about friends even now and it helps me to form new friendships and dump old friendships that have lost their character.

I think at some point all of us wonder why we were friends with someone that we cared about or hung out with. As we mature, things change and we begin to realize that those people no longer fit our lifestyle. For instance, people who you just hang with or party with, won’t be friends for life because as you mature and lose interest in those things, you lose interest in the people who weren’t really friends, they were just someone fun to be around. Then there are those who end up getting married and having children and are focused on their new family life and less interested in their social life.

The one or two great friends that you keep can be very understanding of your new life as they probably have the same one. They understand that you can’t always talk on the phone, text or hang out because they have kids too. Still, when you’re able to talk to that friend you realize that nothing has changed between you and it’s actually refreshing to talk to another adult for a change, besides your spouse. Everyone needs someone other than their spouse to talk to, otherwise things can get pretty frustrating.

i don’t think that people should ever be friends with their ex’s regardless of how the relationship ended. i think that it’s crossing boundaries because they will always know your business and always be comparing the life you had with them, with the life you have with your new spouse. They will always be stalking your Facebook page or making snide remarks. It’s just a bad mix all together.

Feel free to comment on my blog and tell me your experiences.

The Military and Automatic Respect

Published December 15, 2014 by Amplio Recorrido

I decided to write a blog on my personal feelings of the military and I know that for some of you this will be a touchy subject and will probably make many of you angry but, allow me to explain.

I’ve never been one to associate with the military as I wasn’t raised up in it or exposed to it in any way. I didn’t have any real strong feelings about soldiers until recently and now I have enough in my mind to write this blog. A few months ago, I was sitting in my car at a convenience store and I saw a man and woman walk through the parking lot and both of them had their uniform on. i’m assuming Army based on the color of the uniform. As they were slowly walking by, the woman turned to the man and said “Watch this, when we walk in we will get automatic respect, I love wearing my uniform out in public because people are always thanking me for my service and giving me discounts”. I became very angry about this and I thought “Wow, so you walk around in your uniform just to get people to bow down to you and to give you nearly free items”. I don’t know how many of you would have felt hearing that but for me, it was so shallow and made me feel like they just were looking for attention.

My opinion the military is this: I feel that wars are no longer about protecting our country and I do not feel that soldiers are fighting for our freedom and here’s why, President Bush would often get on National Television and make threats to the Middle East. He would have selfish motives that was putting our country in danger to begin with and by picking a fight with people who have nothing to lose, was just asking for our country to be attacked. After viewing a lot of footage concerning 9/11 it became clear that it was not the work of terrorists at all, as a matter of fact the facts that were given stated it was one type of plane when in fact, it was a different type of plane and I along with many others, feel like this was something that was planned by our own government. No, I’m not paranoid and no I’m not one to follow many conspiracy theories but, looking at facts alone, it’s clear that it was not a terrorist attack. You may do the research yourself and you will find out the exact same thing as I did.

President Obama has followed in the footsteps of Bush and has made several announcements on TV of attacking the Middle East and sending the military out to do what he and Bush are too afraid to do themselves. So often these family members of the soldiers are left alone for months or even a year or more to fend for their self while their husband or wife is gone away at war. Have you noticed that we don’t actually have freedom and especially not nearly as much as we did before these Middle East conflicts started? As a matter of fact, our freedoms are being taken from us every day. Now we have a government who insists on even taking our freedom of religion away from us and freedom of speech is completely out of the question or a person can be imprisoned. The only reason anyone would have to protect our country now is because our president’s have pissed off people in the Middle East and now they are taking it out the American people as if we have some responsibility in our president’s poor decisions.

When many war veterans are no longer of use to the Military, often times they come back and are forgotten and left homeless, broke and with PTSD. The government doesn’t care, the president doesn’t care and many people in the United States won’t lift a finger to help. So knowing all of these things, why would you support the Military and the Troops? Why should anyone put their self in a position to do the dirty work of the President just to come back broken and broke? I especially, will not give automatic respect to someone who voluntarily signed up for this and are simply doing a job just like everyone else in the working world, especially to people like the one’s I saw at the store who use their uniform in a disgraceful manner to get freebies and thank you’s. Many of you may hate me after this blog but seriously, I feel that I should be able to reserve the right to tell it like I see it and if you think about it, it honestly makes sense.

Adding to this blog: My grandfather was in the Korean War, he was in the army and when he came back he started drinking very heavily and he was very intimidated by various different noises and people. He became an angry person that no one recognized and he would tell stories of the horrors. He did not sign up for the military, he was drafted. He said that being in the military was something that was common then and that people were told they were fighting for one thing, when much like today, it’s for selfish reasons. I guess you could say that his being in the military basically killed him, since he was never the same again after returning home and basically lived his life in a never ending nightmare.  He said that it was just like having a standard job except much longer hours and that you just became numb to killing people. I’m sorry but, I cant see how a life like that would benefit anyone.

My experiences with a Jehovah’s Witness

Published October 24, 2014 by Amplio Recorrido

I currently have a mother in law who’s been a JW for I guess about 5 years now. She became caught up with the witnesses every since her marriage went south and she became depressed. These people some how came to know my mother in law and “saved her” from her “worldly life”. This is someone who was a devout Catholic but, who drifted when she attempted suicide. Now, I’ve never been particularly fond of Jehovah’s Witnesses and that’s primarily because, I didn’t like the way that they pushed their material on you and wouldn’t answer any questions that you had (aside from what’s in the Watchtower). However, I attempted to get along with her any way. Now mind you, she was in there for about 2 years when I met her and she was not as pushy back then. For the past year, she’s pushed her material and her speeches.

She comes to visit often claiming to help with her grandchild and yet, every single time we always have a stupid argument about her organization and she always makes a comment on everything that I keep in my room. She claims to be a devout witness but, she’s not following this “Be like Jesus” mentality that she walks into Kingdom Halls with. Oh, around her Jehovah’s Witness crowd she’s all about how great she is and how humble she is but, wait there’s more, when she’s away from those people she’s a completely different person. She’s virtually abandoned her son and myself as far as emotionally/spiritually and she often remind us of our “fate” which of course to her means an eternal death that doesn’t consist of this paradise on earth. She’s constantly telling us that she’s going to abandon her grandson and the “rest of us” if we do anything that “Jehovah” doesn’t agree with. Basically, this includes anything that the Watchtower doesn’t agree with or the organization their self doesn’t agree with. So yep: no holiday’s, no patriotic crap, no voting, no higher education, no pictures of Jesus, no crosses, no Holy Bible, NADA! I’m sorry but, I’m not in that group and I’m tired of living my life this way, offending her at every breath without saying a word.

I have spoken to other Jehovah’s Witnesses who have told me that this is not what they are about and that she has not learned self control or humility and that this is not the way she should be behaving. This being over critical of everything I do and say. I won’t get into all the reasons why she’s wrong in my eyes but what I will tell you is, I feel that no one should be this obsessed with any religion that they cannot get along with family. I love God just as much as the next person but, unless God leads me from people who are harmful to me, I’m not going to abandon anyone and I don’t allow leaders of my church to rule my life either. What happens with me is between me and God and I would never depend on anyone to save me every time I wander. My mother in law is different, she has to run and call up her “brothers and sisters” every time she see’s me “doing wrong”. I can’t believe the speech I got over a couple of 6 inch Angel figurines. I’m not talking about filthy Angel’s either. I’m talking about Christian Angel’s. They were sitting quietly on my desk bothering no one, because of course they are inanimate objects and oh my gosh, I never thought I would hear the end of it. So she calls her JW friends and they tell me that she’s not allowed to tell me what I keep in my room and so of course she obey’s them and not 2 months later, she’s on a kick about other things in my bedroom. Claiming she will go home if I don’t remove them.

My husband tells her all of the time, if you want to go home because of what we have in our bedroom, I will be happy to take you and you can stay there. She calms down for a day or two and then goes right back to the speeches again. Is this how Jehovah’s Witnesses really act? How do you feel about my situation and what I have said?

Homelessness

Published July 24, 2014 by Amplio Recorrido

America's Homeless

We have all seen homeless people at one point or another. Many people refer to them as “Trash”, “Druggies” and “Lazy”. However, what do we really know about these people who appear to be useless trash littering the streets? Well let’s start out with a few facts

  1. NOT all homeless people use drugs

  2. NOT all homeless people are lazy

  3. NOT all homeless people have bad intentions

You might be thinking that I’m an advocate for the homeless and in a way I am. You see, there have been many times where I have given money to select homeless people and I’m not talking about your average coins. I’m fairly good at determining who will use the money for things they really need and who won’t. None of us who help the homeless know where our money goes after we hand it off.

America is supposed to be a land of opportunity but, we have found fairly fast that our current President (like many previous president’s) misuses a lot of the money printed. We’re all aware of the trillions of dollars being spent on useless wars, lavish trips for the President and his family and even state of the art rehab facilities for Sex Offenders. It’s no secret that money is not being spent on using abandoned buildings to create large shelters for the homeless in any state.

Though money would be well spent if the President had his head on straight and chose to help the citizens of the United States first, this will be very unlikely to happen in the near or far future. This is due to each new President trying to follow the lead of the previous president. As you all know, the last 3 president’s have spent countless American dollars on things that do not benefit America.

So, who will care for the homeless? Many people go about their daily life and ignore the homeless and some even make petitions to have them removed from their make shift homes. After all, no one wants to look at eye sores right? What we all fail to realize is, any one of us could become homeless at any time. No one is guaranteed their jobs will last and many people will have been laid off in order for those jobs to be transferred overseas or people will simply be replaced by new, fast technology like Robots and Drones.

When talking about what are the options of the homeless, you must keep an open mind. In the first place, many homeless people have lost their jobs, their homes, their families and have very little left over. Finding a new job becomes harder when you have limited experience, you have no address or phone number to list on your application, you cannot arrive to an interview dirty, you have no resume to go along with your application, etc. It’s hard enough for people who are not homeless and who have degrees to get a job. At this point, most all jobs are impossible to get.

Another myth about the homeless is that they are all drug users or alcoholic’s. This is a poor assumption as some homeless, have never been addicted to either and even if they are, you must realize that being on the streets is the hardest thing you can imagine. It’s no life for anyone and those people suffer badly every single day.

Many homeless people become criminals over time as they become more desperate to survive and usually pocket change isn’t enough to sustain them. They also may commit crimes in order to have shelter and even though jail is hard, it’s still food and a place to sleep. This does not mean that all homeless people do these things but, who could blame them if they did?!

There are many abandoned buildings all across the United States and some have been recently closed. Some of these buildings such as old factories or even hospitals could be a great place for the homeless to live. In particular, a hospital that has been closed down would allow many homeless to occupy the floors and each one would have their own room and bathroom and sometimes even put two people to a room. Now, the funding part is a different story. When it comes to funding an operation like this, many people will need to pitch in and since we already pay taxes for things like overseas wars and lavish trips, the tax money would be better suited to pay for the homeless to survive in these already built buildings. It would also be possible if more people would chip in to help. It surprises me how many people complain about having to deal with the homeless but, won’t chip in for something that would get them off the streets and out of your hair.

I believe that if more people would take the time to actually talk with these people, you will realize fast that they are normal people who have been under bad circumstance for far too long. However, you cannot categorize all homeless people as belonging to one group like “Drug user” etc.. as a matter of fact, many of the homeless people I have talked to have stated that they were once married and had children but, they lost their jobs (due to no fault of their own) and they were unable to sustain their self or their families and ended up on the streets.

It has become a situation where, many of the homeless have no where to go at all. Some have families who abandoned them a long time ago and others cannot get into a shelter because, they are packed too full and no one else is allowed inside.  This is a terrible situation to be in and you must keep an open mind and decide what you would do in this position as it’s too easy for people to say “Get a job, bum”. Think about what you say before you say it. The fact is, you don’t know the person and you don’t know what they are going through and therefore, you cannot judge them. This is simply about having the respect for another human being who has been unable to get their head above water. They are no different than yourself other than, you’re privileged and they are not.

If everyone would take the time to pitch in by donating blankets to them, taking them old clothes you don’t need, make extra sandwiches and bring some water (feeding them), sitting down and talking with them, just being supportive can make all the difference for these folks. You don’t need a lot of money to help them, just sharing what you already have can go a long way. I want everyone to please consider what I have said and pass the message along. Thank you for reading my blog on homelessness.