The Outcast

This blog is dedicated to those who like me, are outcasts whether socially or personally. 

For as long as I can remember, I have been an outcast and it’s something that’s always been difficult for me to break away from. As a child, I was the goofy one who always enjoyed making people laugh (which I did in strange ways), laughing at times that were maybe inappropriate and embracing the 90’s with a vengeance by wearing the neon’s and mismatched clothes. I guess you could say that I never cared much what people thought of me and I didn’t go out of my way to be liked. 

As I got older, I realized that you had to be liked by at least a few people and if not, you had no one on your side when you needed someone. So, I began looking for outcasts just like myself and boy did I find them. The problem was that I found people who were too much of an outcast, people who were often into trouble or hung out with people too strange for my tastes and that was usually followed by those who were either alcoholics, drug users who were victims of such a lifestyle growing up. So I began trying to change parts of myself and I still yet was attracting people that weren’t like me and were too much for my liking. 

When I became an adult, I decided that maybe looking for friendships wasn’t for me and that people would naturally attract themselves to me. I’ve met a lot of great people that way. The problem is, they didn’t stick around very long and ended up being rather sensitive people who didn’t like my humor or who wanted to constantly bring up rumors they have heard about me. It just hasn’t worked out so far except for one good friend. I have just this one who’s odd, is similar to me in many ways, who has a level head and a good mind and who wasn’t a product of poor circumstances. She’s the type of person who can make me laugh, lift me up when I’m feeling down, be right with me when I need someone and just lights up my life. 

I can say that not much has changed with me. Even after getting married and having a child, I’m still the same person inside that I always was. The difference is, I’ve found someone who can tolerate me and a kid who’s just as goofy as I was. Though I wonder what will become of my son, will he struggle the way I did to make friends and how he’ll get along in life, I know that life has funny ways of working things out and I feel confident that things will be just fine. So the moral of this story, be yourself and let others come to you and don’t change for anyone because you never know, someone will come along and love you for you.