I feel like I have to post this because, I’m incredibly annoyed at stupid, drugged out, idiots running around in society. Here’s the thing, I’m not talking about people who were on drugs and are now getting better and recovering from them. There are a lot of good people in this world who used to be on drugs and aren’t anymore and I’m not talking about people who smoke pot.
There are a lot of people out there who are on speed, meth, cocaine, heroin, spice and other heavy drugs (not talking about pot). Those same people just get worse when they are on it. Not only do you have issues with people doing whatever to feed their drug habit but, there’s also the one’s who become violent or obnoxious and some who commit crazy crimes while on these drugs or as a result of needing them.
For instance, there’s a guy who lives in my neighborhood behind my house and I already wrote a blog on it, refer to the blog about the bad neighborhood. The guy is on speed and meth, he’s extremely obnoxious and violent. The guy is constantly in a screaming match with someone whether it be his druggie girlfriend or the neighbors nearby. He’s constantly screaming, cussing and making threats. I don’t deal with him and I don’t interact with him or any of my other neighbors. I don’t want to be involved with druggies. Otherwise, the next time he would be at my house trying to cause trouble, in which case he would be dead because, I’m not going to put up with the s***!
Then there’s people you see on the street. You know you’re at a stop light and suddenly you see some drugged out, mental case in the cross walk or sitting at a bus stop screaming, talking to themselves, cussing and whatever else nonsense they do. If they aren’t there, they are bugging the hell out of you for money or cigarettes at a gas station or store. You know what they want it for. Some of them act like you owe them something. For instance, there’s this time where I was at a gas station and this hateful ass black girl came up to the car and was basically demanding change and I said no and she got all pissed off and started ranting at me calling me a rich, white girl and a useless bitch and all of this other stuff and I got pissed off and I said really loud where other people could hear me “Now you’re really not getting a damn thing”. She went to go ask someone else and they said “Hell no, after the way you talked to her (me), you’re not getting shit from me”. I did it on purpose, I wanted other people to not feel sorry for her and to show how she was acting.
I honestly cannot deal with people who are heavy drinkers, drugged out or straight up mental. It really works my nerves and makes me more agitated. Too much exposure can make a sane person go insane. I’ve had way more than I want of it. When I bought my house, I didn’t do a lot of research about the neighborhood and I should have. It was a really long drive from where we were living and our car at the time was really struggling with even short trips. We bought it based on an inspection report, what the realtor (who’s a family friend) said and pictures. We found out shortly after moving in (within a few days) that there was a lot of trouble. The neighbors who live near us have a prostitution ring running in there and sell drugs out of their house. They have a lot of foot traffic coming in and out. We have a privacy fence that covers our entire back yard and we’re considering getting one for the front yard too even though we don’t hang out there. My child is only allowed to play in the back yard due to all of the bullshit that goes on out front.
I know this was kind of a rant blog but seriously, drugs are the worst thing that could have happened to this country and it’s people. Rehab should be free to all who want to enter and people who are witnessed on the streets drugged out, should be forced into rehab and mental health facilities.
The title may have you wondering. It actually comes from the Grumpy Cat meme who is dressed as Darth Vader and he says “Luke, I don’t care” instead of the “Luke, I am your father”. Now that, that’s out of the way, let’s get to the blog.
I have become seriously annoyed with people. I’m not talking about my followers, I think you guys are fantastic. I’m just venting at this point about society and people in general. I look around and I see everything for exactly what it is. If shit is going down all around the world, I’ll be the first to point it out. Now, I know what you’re thinking and I’ll tell you how to stop thinking it – read my blog “I am a realist”. Moving on, I watch the world around me crumbling. I see poverty, bullying, alienation, abuse, hate, racism rants, death and wars.
Meanwhile, 3rd world countries are being destroyed, the people are starving, they are being killed and kidnapped and many countries women still have no rights. All of this happening while we as American’s are complaining about immigration, flags, weight, race, kids being “brats” and religion. There’s entirely too much ignorance going on in this country and I’m burned out! So I always get the “Well, why don’t you find a new country to call home” and my response is “Why don’t you just get your shit together, so that we can all live happy”. Why does anyone have to move? Why can’t people just be a productive member of society and stop being whiny, obnoxious brats?
What have we as a country become? I’ll tell you. We have become a self-righteous, overbearing, uncaring, bitter society who will be our own demise. Stop bitching about immigrants, they were here hundreds of years before “Christopher Columbus discovered America” The truth is the Native American’s and the Mexican’s lived, worked and built the United States so stop being so self-righteous! Stop telling people to speak English. English was brought from Europe with the white’s who invaded the U.S. and kicked the real citizens out!
Stop fighting over flags and calling everything racist. The Confederate Flag has been around for a very long time and no one started complaining until now. The American flag was flown and used under slavery for 10 times longer than the Confederate flag. Those who fought in the Civil War deserve to have their graves undisturbed and that includes their flags atop their headstones and that includes the 100,000 plus black soldiers. This deal of “Everything is racist” is not only ignorant but, it’s also obnoxious. Black people don’t rule the world, White people don’t rule the world. Let it GO! Your slavery bit has reached the end.
Stop fighting over whether kids aren’t being controlled by their parents. You don’t know them and you don’t know their situation.
Stop fighting people who believe in God. Leave them alone, let them be and don’t worry about what they believe! If you don’t want your kids knowing about God and are worried they might be exposed to it in school, keep them at home! No one is bothering your rights, no one cares that you’re obsessed with “In God We Trust” being on our money, if you hate it don’t look at it! Stop bothering people, it’s insanity!
I just can’t understand this. I look all around and I see all of these stupid arguments and battles over nothing! It doesn’t affect you and at some point this has to stop! The only reason I’m even writing this blog is because it’s not only affecting my life, it’s affecting my mental health. Constant migraines and stress from reading and hearing all of this non sense, listening to people in public and hearing my obnoxious neighbors. I know I’m not the only one who sick of hearing all of this bullshit going on every single day. At some point, we as a society have to stop coping out and take full responsibility for us and us only! I mean that as YOU and YOUR KIDS and that’s it!
Recently, I have been reading a lot of stories about Transgender kids and I know how much this going to hurt some feelings but honestly, I’m appalled by this. Here’s my main reasons for concern.
#1 – I don’t believe that Children should be allowed to make a life changing decisions like gender changing when they cannot smoke, vote, drive, drink, get tattoos/piercings or consent to sex.
#2 – There are a lot of kids especially girls who act like boys and do boy things, that doesn’t mean they should alter their gender. When I was growing up, it was called being a Tomboy.
#3 – A lot of this seems to be influenced by parents who wanted their kid to be a different gender and with the nationwide acceptance that this is a true “disorder”, parents can now get by with it and put off on the child that they wanted to be a girl or a boy.
Things like this were never heard of until the current generation. Now, everyone is so accepting of these life changing decisions. I don’t believe that these people were born this way, if they were, then why is it that they were only born this way in the current generation? Why not the thousands of years that man has walked the earth? As for the parents who are unsatisfied with their child’s gender and are influencing their kids to change who they are, you should have changed positions if you wanted a different gender or went through the process of gender selection. Most of these kids have been influenced from the beginning and it starts when the parents begin dressing them like a different gender and encourage them to play with toys and think like the other gender. All of this about kids wanting what they chose, that’s total bs and everyone knows it. So much of this is a child’s natural desire to want to please their parents, make them happy and whatever they learned they will do.
I’m female but when I was a kid, I did everything that boys did and always wondered what it would be like to be a boy. I can tell you for 100% certainty that if my parents had made the decision to make me a boy, I would have been completely unsatisfied now that I’m mature enough to look back on it. I’m still not a girly girl and I never will be, I still choose not to change gender. Why is it that we as a society are accepting this nonsense? Now people are demanding that transgender kids be allowed to share restrooms. Are you kidding me? I don’t want a boy in the girl’s restroom regardless of whether they have chosen to become a girl or not. I think it can be too easy for people to commit crimes that way. This is why I have a problem with the Transgender community.
I recently read comments from a man who believed that he was the king of his castle and that a woman’s sole purpose was to serve him. I found this quite odd as he insisted that his woman would not work and she would obey him. To me, this is controlling and abusive. Have you ever met anyone who was like this? It’s quite an old fashion way of thinking and on top of that it’s really obnoxious. Even more odd, he claims that the woman is satisfied doing this for him, though I doubt very seriously she’s happy.
Women don’t have a “sole purpose” as every woman is different and women can do anything a man can do and should be allowed the opportunity. After all, we’re not living in a world where women don’t have rights. I’m not saying this because I’m a woman, I’m saying this because it seems odd. Some men act as though they cannot do anything for their self and probably could not wash their own clothes if that woman was gone. So for me, I find these pigest men to be ignorant if anything, as they cannot do much of anything for their self. I could however understand if this man lived or lives in a country where it’s common to put all the work off on the woman. This man however is a white american and that makes him seem abusive.
This man also stated that it’s not his responsibility to care for his biological kids physically, only financially. I’m sorry but, this is what’s wrong with kids today and why some kids are better off without their fathers. I’m sure there are plenty of men in the world who would love to be good fathers and role model’s to these kids that are apparently unwanted. I honestly don’t see how these men are given children by God. That’s an entire different story though and I will try not to get side tracked.
I have seen multiple men who are abusive on TV and even in public. As a matter of fact, I was at a park last week and I noticed that a woman was standing at the car of her apparent ex and then I noticed they had two kids and were meeting to switch custody for the weekend. What caught my eye was the man cursing and threatening the woman and her son. He was making a complete fool of himself and I was very worried about the child’s safety and her’s. He was telling her how useless she was and was threatening to hit the kid in the head. I thought “Yes buddy, hit either of them and I will take you out”. I honestly see no purpose in being so abusive towards the mother of your child and certainly not the kids. I also thought “Why is this woman not filing for emergency custody and then full custody”. I would not let my child go with that man even if he had court ordered visitation and when he called the cops, I would have him arrested for making threats and then he definitely wouldn’t be seeing my kids any time soon.
So the big question is, what causes some men to think they are inferior to women and what causes these reactions towards them? What makes a man think that a woman is only good for housekeeping and sex? I think that whether a man works or not, he should still be responsible for half of all the work at home. Having a job doesn’t stop so many good men from helping their wives. It’s both responsibility and this man was actually trying to quote scripture claiming that God made women for housekeeping and sex. I wrote to him “Even the devil can quote scripture”. I’m sorry but, I have a serious problem with men who abuse and control their women and then use God as their reason for doing it. People like the man on the internet and the one at the park, deserve to die a lonely death.
Have you ever met anyone like the 2 men I have described? Please tell me your thoughts in the comments below! Thanks for reading!
I want all of you to know that I’m not writing this blog due to the domestic abuse that has occurred within the NFL. Now with that being said, let’s proceed.
Domestic violence can often occur with someone that you trust and often times it’s due to that person’s inability to control their emotions. It can however, be caused by someone who has a mental illness such as Paranoia which can cause the person to believe that their partner is doing things intentionally to make them angry. The other side of it can also be the person’s inability to take personal responsibility for their own actions. Often times the abuser will say “If you hadn’t of said that, this wouldn’t be happening” or whatever the case is.
I want you to know a few things. In the first place, I’m a survivor of domestic violence. I won’t bore you with the details but, I will tell you that the person who abused me did so for as long as he could get away it and first chose isolation to keep me from telling anyone and then proceeded with the endless cycle of breaking my spirit to make me submissive. You see these are all common steps of the abuser and most abusers are afraid for anyone to discover what they are doing.
The most difficult thing for women to do is to leave their abuser. It’s common that people will criticize and say “Why didn’t you leave sooner” well, as I stated before Isolation is the abusers biggest advantage. There are extreme cases where the abuser will literally force you to stay inside the house. The person may block the doors/windows, they may tie you up or even lock you in a closet. There’s no way to escape most of the time unless someone gets worried about you and comes to your rescue.
The biggest thing that you need to know, if you do manage to get away from your abuser know that it will not stop. Almost always, the abuser is determined to have you back under their control and that is when stalking begins. You will often find that person showing up where you happen to be, usually they have either followed you or they have someone giving them information about where you’re going or who you will be with. Always take someone you trust with you every place that you go. I know that this may be annoying or even inconvenient but, it will also likely save your life. If you have no one to go with you, put it off for another time or carry discreet pepper spray or a tazer.
There are various resources that can help you escape from this abusive endless cycle but, what you need to know for sure is that you will require counseling when you leave the abusive relationship and things will never be the same again. That’s bad news you say, yes, the good news is though, you won’t be being beaten every day any more. It’s impossible to say whether or not the person will follow you everywhere you go but what they will do is, they will do everything they can to convince you to either stay or return back with them. They may even say “I went to therapy” or “I’m on medication now”. I do believe that people can change, I don’t however believe that they can change so quickly and by you going back to them, you’re rekindling that excitement they had of controlling and abusing you. It’s never a good idea to return based on what they claim, or even return at all.
We all know that in today’s world Modesty is not a word used to describe women especially celebrities. I, myself have always believed in being modest and no I’m not overweight. The major problem with being modest in today’s world is that men are not interested.
There are many examples of uncovered women out there Celebrities, Models, Billboard ad’s and especially television ad’s. We live in a world of women who flatter men out there everywhere with their bodies and their skimpy clothes. A few of the many examples of this are in the music industry such as Nicki Minaj, Miley Cyrus and Beyonce. They are also subject to stalkers who are obsessed with them and treat them like sex objects because, that’s the way they present their self.
One of the stronger examples comes from Food and Beer commercials in which you will see many women with skimpy outfits having “food sex” over a hamburger or men getting slutty women in beer commercials. These things are obviously unappealing and unrealistic to those of us who have some class and are turned off by it.
The bigger problem aside from being turned off by it is that, our children are being exposed to these images and are virtually expected to dress, look and act that way in order to “make it” in today’s world which has become a man’s world. For instance, I was in a store last year and I noticed that Miley Cyrus had come out with a clothing line, the bad part, it was for young children and it was super short. For the trashy parents out there who dress their children like sluts, you’re setting your child up for molestation and rape. These items of clothing are very appealing to the pedophiles and also you’re teaching them to dress to please. It’s extremely inappropriate.
I do realize that some women who want to be modest or who are modest, feel pressured by all of the women who have flat stomachs and wear skimpy clothes. Then there’s the fashion industry which is mostly run by men. The men within the industry virtually control what consumers wear by advertising that you’re not good looking unless you wear these items. There’s also a pressure to be thin by using celebrities who have had kids and have “slimmed down” right after birth. Again, this is unrealistic and many of those women have photoshopped pictures, they are genetically disposed to being thin or they have surgery right after birth. However, to certain men who act like pigs, they will often to pressure women into looking like the woman they saw in a magazine or on TV.
The point in all of this is, men do not respect a woman who falls into “slutty” women, they will treat you as if you’re a sex object and nothing more. You will never have the respect you normally would by only being yourself without undressing. Now, this is not to say that you can’t wear that bikini to the beach but, it’s saying to not always be uncovered, flashing your body to every man in the world. In the first place, it’s dangerous as some men can become violent and rape you and secondly, if you’re looking for a permanent relationship or marriage, you likely won’t find your partner who will want you for anything other than sex. As a young person, you may think “That’s ok because I’m hormonal any way” but, as you gain weight later on, that man will say “This is not what I bought” and they will leave you for something thinner.
The bottom line: Respect yourself ladies so you can get respect. Though I could fall into the traps of today’s “fashion”, I refuse. I obtained a great man by just being myself and not showing him what he could have. It’s more important to build a foundation ladies before you start thinking of decorating that house you haven’t built yet. (This is a metaphor of course but, you get the idea).
THE PICTURE ADDED TO THIS POST DOES NOT BELONG TO ME, THE CREDIT GOES TO QUICKMEME.COM
We have all seen homeless people at one point or another. Many people refer to them as “Trash”, “Druggies” and “Lazy”. However, what do we really know about these people who appear to be useless trash littering the streets? Well let’s start out with a few facts
NOT all homeless people use drugs
NOT all homeless people are lazy
NOT all homeless people have bad intentions
You might be thinking that I’m an advocate for the homeless and in a way I am. You see, there have been many times where I have given money to select homeless people and I’m not talking about your average coins. I’m fairly good at determining who will use the money for things they really need and who won’t. None of us who help the homeless know where our money goes after we hand it off.
America is supposed to be a land of opportunity but, we have found fairly fast that our current President (like many previous president’s) misuses a lot of the money printed. We’re all aware of the trillions of dollars being spent on useless wars, lavish trips for the President and his family and even state of the art rehab facilities for Sex Offenders. It’s no secret that money is not being spent on using abandoned buildings to create large shelters for the homeless in any state.
Though money would be well spent if the President had his head on straight and chose to help the citizens of the United States first, this will be very unlikely to happen in the near or far future. This is due to each new President trying to follow the lead of the previous president. As you all know, the last 3 president’s have spent countless American dollars on things that do not benefit America.
So, who will care for the homeless? Many people go about their daily life and ignore the homeless and some even make petitions to have them removed from their make shift homes. After all, no one wants to look at eye sores right? What we all fail to realize is, any one of us could become homeless at any time. No one is guaranteed their jobs will last and many people will have been laid off in order for those jobs to be transferred overseas or people will simply be replaced by new, fast technology like Robots and Drones.
When talking about what are the options of the homeless, you must keep an open mind. In the first place, many homeless people have lost their jobs, their homes, their families and have very little left over. Finding a new job becomes harder when you have limited experience, you have no address or phone number to list on your application, you cannot arrive to an interview dirty, you have no resume to go along with your application, etc. It’s hard enough for people who are not homeless and who have degrees to get a job. At this point, most all jobs are impossible to get.
Another myth about the homeless is that they are all drug users or alcoholic’s. This is a poor assumption as some homeless, have never been addicted to either and even if they are, you must realize that being on the streets is the hardest thing you can imagine. It’s no life for anyone and those people suffer badly every single day.
Many homeless people become criminals over time as they become more desperate to survive and usually pocket change isn’t enough to sustain them. They also may commit crimes in order to have shelter and even though jail is hard, it’s still food and a place to sleep. This does not mean that all homeless people do these things but, who could blame them if they did?!
There are many abandoned buildings all across the United States and some have been recently closed. Some of these buildings such as old factories or even hospitals could be a great place for the homeless to live. In particular, a hospital that has been closed down would allow many homeless to occupy the floors and each one would have their own room and bathroom and sometimes even put two people to a room. Now, the funding part is a different story. When it comes to funding an operation like this, many people will need to pitch in and since we already pay taxes for things like overseas wars and lavish trips, the tax money would be better suited to pay for the homeless to survive in these already built buildings. It would also be possible if more people would chip in to help. It surprises me how many people complain about having to deal with the homeless but, won’t chip in for something that would get them off the streets and out of your hair.
I believe that if more people would take the time to actually talk with these people, you will realize fast that they are normal people who have been under bad circumstance for far too long. However, you cannot categorize all homeless people as belonging to one group like “Drug user” etc.. as a matter of fact, many of the homeless people I have talked to have stated that they were once married and had children but, they lost their jobs (due to no fault of their own) and they were unable to sustain their self or their families and ended up on the streets.
It has become a situation where, many of the homeless have no where to go at all. Some have families who abandoned them a long time ago and others cannot get into a shelter because, they are packed too full and no one else is allowed inside. This is a terrible situation to be in and you must keep an open mind and decide what you would do in this position as it’s too easy for people to say “Get a job, bum”. Think about what you say before you say it. The fact is, you don’t know the person and you don’t know what they are going through and therefore, you cannot judge them. This is simply about having the respect for another human being who has been unable to get their head above water. They are no different than yourself other than, you’re privileged and they are not.
If everyone would take the time to pitch in by donating blankets to them, taking them old clothes you don’t need, make extra sandwiches and bring some water (feeding them), sitting down and talking with them, just being supportive can make all the difference for these folks. You don’t need a lot of money to help them, just sharing what you already have can go a long way. I want everyone to please consider what I have said and pass the message along. Thank you for reading my blog on homelessness.
As a person who has lived most of my adult life as a co-dependent, I must say that it’s one of the most difficult things a person can go through. For myself, being co-dependent can be frustrating because, there’s a constant need for having someone around even if you don’t need their help.
Most co-dependent people are often seen as unable to do anything for their selves. However, this was not the case with me. In my life, I was co-dependent in a way that I felt the need to have bad friends and bad relationships. This is not because I enjoy negativity but, it’s more to do with wanting anyone in my life and around me so that I wasn’t alone but, I needed nothing from them.
The second type of co-dependency is a person who truly cannot function without depending on someone else. This is not just financial but also mentally, physically, sexually and spiritually. There comes a point where the person cannot be alone, cannot preform tasks without someone there to tell them they are doing it right, they constantly feel the need to talk to someone about everything and their lives are diminished.
Recently, I did something I have never done and that is to remove bad people from my life. The reason this was done is because I’m no longer needing to depend on someone else to make me happy. I’m in a good marriage and I have only 2 good friends and I’m okay with that. Letting go when you are co-dependent is extremely hard to do. For me, it took many years and I had to just do it. I know that sounds crazy to a co-dependent person but, sometimes “cold turkey” is the best way to go.
If you’re in a co-dependent relationship, keep in mind that some partners play off of that and enjoy knowing that they can do anything and everything they want and you won’t leave because, you don’t want to be alone. This is very common in semi-abusive and full-abusive relationships. If you have a loving partner, you will find it harder to do much of anything when your partner is not around and thus will develop “Separation Anxiety Disorder” and yes I know what you’re thinking “Only kids and animals go through that”, that’s a myth, there are many adults who can also suffer from S.A.D.
You may also find that in a co-dependent friendship that you’re giving more than you’re getting. It’s often the case that people often “over do it” when it comes to pleasing the other person and no I’m not talking about sexual. In this case, I’m referring to the acts like being a “Yes man” and saying yes to everything they want you to do because, you fear losing the friendship if you don’t. Keep in mind: A real friend will not abandon the friendship if you abandon the codependency.
RECOVERING FROM CODEPENDENCY
Abstinence. Abstinence or sobriety is necessary to recover from codependency. The goal is to bring your attention back to yourself, to have an internal, rather than external, “locus of control.” This means that your actions are primarily motivated by your values, needs, and feelings, not someone else’s. You learn to meet those needs in healthy ways.Perfect abstinence or sobriety isn’t necessary for progress, and it’s impossible with respect to codependency with people. You need and depend upon others and therefore give and compromise in relationships. Instead of abstinence, you learn to detach and not control, people-please, or obsess about others. You become more self-directed and autonomous.
If you’re involved with an abuser or addict or grew up as the child of one, you may be afraid to displease your partner, and it can require great courage to break that pattern of conceding our power to someone else.
Awareness. It’s said that denial is the hallmark of addiction. This is true whether you’re an alcoholic or in love with one. Not only do codependents deny their own addiction – whether to a drug, activity, or person – they deny their feelings, and especially their needs, particularly emotional needs for nurturing and real intimacy.You may have grown up in a family where you weren’t nurtured, your opinions and feelings weren’t respected, and your emotional needs weren’t adequately met. Over time, rather than risk rejection or criticism, you learned to ignore your needs and feelings and believed that you were wrong. Some decided to become self-sufficient or find comfort in sex, food, drugs, or work.All this leads to low self-esteem. To reverse these destructive habits, you first must become aware of them. The most damaging obstacle to self-esteem is negative self-talk. Most people aren’t aware of their internal voices that push and criticize them — their “Pusher,” “Perfectionist,” and “Critic.”1
Acceptance.Healing essentially involves self-acceptance. This is not only a step, but a life-long journey. People come to therapy to change themselves, not realizing that the work is about accepting themselves. Ironically, before you can change, you have to accept the situation. As they say, “What you resist, persists.”In recovery, more about yourself is revealed that requires acceptance, and life itself presents limitations and losses to accept. This is maturity. Accepting reality opens the doors of possibility. Change then happens. New ideas and energy emerge that previously stagnated from self-blame and fighting reality. For example, when you feel sad, lonely, or guilty, instead of making yourself feel worse, you have self-compassion, soothe yourself, and take steps to feel better.Self-acceptance means that you don’t have to please everyone for fear that they won’t like you. You honor your needs and unpleasant feelings and are forgiving of yourself and others. This goodwill toward yourself allows you to be self-reflective without being self-critical. Your self-esteem and confidence grow, and consequently, you don’t allow others to abuse you or tell you what to do. Instead of manipulating, you become more authentic and assertive, and are capable of greater intimacy.
Action.Insight without action only gets you so far. In order to grow, self-awareness and self-acceptance must be accompanied by new behavior. This involves taking risks and venturing outside your comfort one. It may involve speaking up, trying something new, going somewhere alone, or setting a boundary. It also means setting internal boundaries by keeping commitments to yourself, or saying “no” to your Critic or other old habits you want to change. Instead of expecting others to meet all your needs and make you happy, you learn to take actions to meet them, and do things that give you fulfillment and satisfaction in your life.Each time you try out new behavior or take a risk, you learn something new about yourself and your feelings and needs. You’re creating a stronger sense of yourself, as well as self-confidence and self-esteem. This builds upon itself in a positive feedback loop vs. the downward spiral of codependency, which creates more fear, depression, and low self-esteem.Words are actions. They have power and reflect your self-esteem. Becoming assertive is a learning process and is perhaps the most powerful tool in recovery. Assertiveness requires that you know yourself and risk making that public. It entails setting limits. This is respecting and honoring yourself. You get to be the author of your life – what you’ll do and not do and how people will treat you.2