I recently read comments from a man who believed that he was the king of his castle and that a woman’s sole purpose was to serve him. I found this quite odd as he insisted that his woman would not work and she would obey him. To me, this is controlling and abusive. Have you ever met anyone who was like this? It’s quite an old fashion way of thinking and on top of that it’s really obnoxious. Even more odd, he claims that the woman is satisfied doing this for him, though I doubt very seriously she’s happy.
Women don’t have a “sole purpose” as every woman is different and women can do anything a man can do and should be allowed the opportunity. After all, we’re not living in a world where women don’t have rights. I’m not saying this because I’m a woman, I’m saying this because it seems odd. Some men act as though they cannot do anything for their self and probably could not wash their own clothes if that woman was gone. So for me, I find these pigest men to be ignorant if anything, as they cannot do much of anything for their self. I could however understand if this man lived or lives in a country where it’s common to put all the work off on the woman. This man however is a white american and that makes him seem abusive.
This man also stated that it’s not his responsibility to care for his biological kids physically, only financially. I’m sorry but, this is what’s wrong with kids today and why some kids are better off without their fathers. I’m sure there are plenty of men in the world who would love to be good fathers and role model’s to these kids that are apparently unwanted. I honestly don’t see how these men are given children by God. That’s an entire different story though and I will try not to get side tracked.
I have seen multiple men who are abusive on TV and even in public. As a matter of fact, I was at a park last week and I noticed that a woman was standing at the car of her apparent ex and then I noticed they had two kids and were meeting to switch custody for the weekend. What caught my eye was the man cursing and threatening the woman and her son. He was making a complete fool of himself and I was very worried about the child’s safety and her’s. He was telling her how useless she was and was threatening to hit the kid in the head. I thought “Yes buddy, hit either of them and I will take you out”. I honestly see no purpose in being so abusive towards the mother of your child and certainly not the kids. I also thought “Why is this woman not filing for emergency custody and then full custody”. I would not let my child go with that man even if he had court ordered visitation and when he called the cops, I would have him arrested for making threats and then he definitely wouldn’t be seeing my kids any time soon.
So the big question is, what causes some men to think they are inferior to women and what causes these reactions towards them? What makes a man think that a woman is only good for housekeeping and sex? I think that whether a man works or not, he should still be responsible for half of all the work at home. Having a job doesn’t stop so many good men from helping their wives. It’s both responsibility and this man was actually trying to quote scripture claiming that God made women for housekeeping and sex. I wrote to him “Even the devil can quote scripture”. I’m sorry but, I have a serious problem with men who abuse and control their women and then use God as their reason for doing it. People like the man on the internet and the one at the park, deserve to die a lonely death.
Have you ever met anyone like the 2 men I have described? Please tell me your thoughts in the comments below! Thanks for reading!
I want all of you to know that I’m not writing this blog due to the domestic abuse that has occurred within the NFL. Now with that being said, let’s proceed.
Domestic violence can often occur with someone that you trust and often times it’s due to that person’s inability to control their emotions. It can however, be caused by someone who has a mental illness such as Paranoia which can cause the person to believe that their partner is doing things intentionally to make them angry. The other side of it can also be the person’s inability to take personal responsibility for their own actions. Often times the abuser will say “If you hadn’t of said that, this wouldn’t be happening” or whatever the case is.
I want you to know a few things. In the first place, I’m a survivor of domestic violence. I won’t bore you with the details but, I will tell you that the person who abused me did so for as long as he could get away it and first chose isolation to keep me from telling anyone and then proceeded with the endless cycle of breaking my spirit to make me submissive. You see these are all common steps of the abuser and most abusers are afraid for anyone to discover what they are doing.
The most difficult thing for women to do is to leave their abuser. It’s common that people will criticize and say “Why didn’t you leave sooner” well, as I stated before Isolation is the abusers biggest advantage. There are extreme cases where the abuser will literally force you to stay inside the house. The person may block the doors/windows, they may tie you up or even lock you in a closet. There’s no way to escape most of the time unless someone gets worried about you and comes to your rescue.
The biggest thing that you need to know, if you do manage to get away from your abuser know that it will not stop. Almost always, the abuser is determined to have you back under their control and that is when stalking begins. You will often find that person showing up where you happen to be, usually they have either followed you or they have someone giving them information about where you’re going or who you will be with. Always take someone you trust with you every place that you go. I know that this may be annoying or even inconvenient but, it will also likely save your life. If you have no one to go with you, put it off for another time or carry discreet pepper spray or a tazer.
There are various resources that can help you escape from this abusive endless cycle but, what you need to know for sure is that you will require counseling when you leave the abusive relationship and things will never be the same again. That’s bad news you say, yes, the good news is though, you won’t be being beaten every day any more. It’s impossible to say whether or not the person will follow you everywhere you go but what they will do is, they will do everything they can to convince you to either stay or return back with them. They may even say “I went to therapy” or “I’m on medication now”. I do believe that people can change, I don’t however believe that they can change so quickly and by you going back to them, you’re rekindling that excitement they had of controlling and abusing you. It’s never a good idea to return based on what they claim, or even return at all.