I want all of you to know that I’m not writing this blog due to the domestic abuse that has occurred within the NFL. Now with that being said, let’s proceed.
Domestic violence can often occur with someone that you trust and often times it’s due to that person’s inability to control their emotions. It can however, be caused by someone who has a mental illness such as Paranoia which can cause the person to believe that their partner is doing things intentionally to make them angry. The other side of it can also be the person’s inability to take personal responsibility for their own actions. Often times the abuser will say “If you hadn’t of said that, this wouldn’t be happening” or whatever the case is.
I want you to know a few things. In the first place, I’m a survivor of domestic violence. I won’t bore you with the details but, I will tell you that the person who abused me did so for as long as he could get away it and first chose isolation to keep me from telling anyone and then proceeded with the endless cycle of breaking my spirit to make me submissive. You see these are all common steps of the abuser and most abusers are afraid for anyone to discover what they are doing.
The most difficult thing for women to do is to leave their abuser. It’s common that people will criticize and say “Why didn’t you leave sooner” well, as I stated before Isolation is the abusers biggest advantage. There are extreme cases where the abuser will literally force you to stay inside the house. The person may block the doors/windows, they may tie you up or even lock you in a closet. There’s no way to escape most of the time unless someone gets worried about you and comes to your rescue.
The biggest thing that you need to know, if you do manage to get away from your abuser know that it will not stop. Almost always, the abuser is determined to have you back under their control and that is when stalking begins. You will often find that person showing up where you happen to be, usually they have either followed you or they have someone giving them information about where you’re going or who you will be with. Always take someone you trust with you every place that you go. I know that this may be annoying or even inconvenient but, it will also likely save your life. If you have no one to go with you, put it off for another time or carry discreet pepper spray or a tazer.
There are various resources that can help you escape from this abusive endless cycle but, what you need to know for sure is that you will require counseling when you leave the abusive relationship and things will never be the same again. That’s bad news you say, yes, the good news is though, you won’t be being beaten every day any more. It’s impossible to say whether or not the person will follow you everywhere you go but what they will do is, they will do everything they can to convince you to either stay or return back with them. They may even say “I went to therapy” or “I’m on medication now”. I do believe that people can change, I don’t however believe that they can change so quickly and by you going back to them, you’re rekindling that excitement they had of controlling and abusing you. It’s never a good idea to return based on what they claim, or even return at all.
We all know that in today’s world Modesty is not a word used to describe women especially celebrities. I, myself have always believed in being modest and no I’m not overweight. The major problem with being modest in today’s world is that men are not interested.
There are many examples of uncovered women out there Celebrities, Models, Billboard ad’s and especially television ad’s. We live in a world of women who flatter men out there everywhere with their bodies and their skimpy clothes. A few of the many examples of this are in the music industry such as Nicki Minaj, Miley Cyrus and Beyonce. They are also subject to stalkers who are obsessed with them and treat them like sex objects because, that’s the way they present their self.
One of the stronger examples comes from Food and Beer commercials in which you will see many women with skimpy outfits having “food sex” over a hamburger or men getting slutty women in beer commercials. These things are obviously unappealing and unrealistic to those of us who have some class and are turned off by it.
The bigger problem aside from being turned off by it is that, our children are being exposed to these images and are virtually expected to dress, look and act that way in order to “make it” in today’s world which has become a man’s world. For instance, I was in a store last year and I noticed that Miley Cyrus had come out with a clothing line, the bad part, it was for young children and it was super short. For the trashy parents out there who dress their children like sluts, you’re setting your child up for molestation and rape. These items of clothing are very appealing to the pedophiles and also you’re teaching them to dress to please. It’s extremely inappropriate.
I do realize that some women who want to be modest or who are modest, feel pressured by all of the women who have flat stomachs and wear skimpy clothes. Then there’s the fashion industry which is mostly run by men. The men within the industry virtually control what consumers wear by advertising that you’re not good looking unless you wear these items. There’s also a pressure to be thin by using celebrities who have had kids and have “slimmed down” right after birth. Again, this is unrealistic and many of those women have photoshopped pictures, they are genetically disposed to being thin or they have surgery right after birth. However, to certain men who act like pigs, they will often to pressure women into looking like the woman they saw in a magazine or on TV.
The point in all of this is, men do not respect a woman who falls into “slutty” women, they will treat you as if you’re a sex object and nothing more. You will never have the respect you normally would by only being yourself without undressing. Now, this is not to say that you can’t wear that bikini to the beach but, it’s saying to not always be uncovered, flashing your body to every man in the world. In the first place, it’s dangerous as some men can become violent and rape you and secondly, if you’re looking for a permanent relationship or marriage, you likely won’t find your partner who will want you for anything other than sex. As a young person, you may think “That’s ok because I’m hormonal any way” but, as you gain weight later on, that man will say “This is not what I bought” and they will leave you for something thinner.
The bottom line: Respect yourself ladies so you can get respect. Though I could fall into the traps of today’s “fashion”, I refuse. I obtained a great man by just being myself and not showing him what he could have. It’s more important to build a foundation ladies before you start thinking of decorating that house you haven’t built yet. (This is a metaphor of course but, you get the idea).
THE PICTURE ADDED TO THIS POST DOES NOT BELONG TO ME, THE CREDIT GOES TO QUICKMEME.COM