I feel like I have to post this because, I’m incredibly annoyed at stupid, drugged out, idiots running around in society. Here’s the thing, I’m not talking about people who were on drugs and are now getting better and recovering from them. There are a lot of good people in this world who used to be on drugs and aren’t anymore and I’m not talking about people who smoke pot.
There are a lot of people out there who are on speed, meth, cocaine, heroin, spice and other heavy drugs (not talking about pot). Those same people just get worse when they are on it. Not only do you have issues with people doing whatever to feed their drug habit but, there’s also the one’s who become violent or obnoxious and some who commit crazy crimes while on these drugs or as a result of needing them.
For instance, there’s a guy who lives in my neighborhood behind my house and I already wrote a blog on it, refer to the blog about the bad neighborhood. The guy is on speed and meth, he’s extremely obnoxious and violent. The guy is constantly in a screaming match with someone whether it be his druggie girlfriend or the neighbors nearby. He’s constantly screaming, cussing and making threats. I don’t deal with him and I don’t interact with him or any of my other neighbors. I don’t want to be involved with druggies. Otherwise, the next time he would be at my house trying to cause trouble, in which case he would be dead because, I’m not going to put up with the s***!
Then there’s people you see on the street. You know you’re at a stop light and suddenly you see some drugged out, mental case in the cross walk or sitting at a bus stop screaming, talking to themselves, cussing and whatever else nonsense they do. If they aren’t there, they are bugging the hell out of you for money or cigarettes at a gas station or store. You know what they want it for. Some of them act like you owe them something. For instance, there’s this time where I was at a gas station and this hateful ass black girl came up to the car and was basically demanding change and I said no and she got all pissed off and started ranting at me calling me a rich, white girl and a useless bitch and all of this other stuff and I got pissed off and I said really loud where other people could hear me “Now you’re really not getting a damn thing”. She went to go ask someone else and they said “Hell no, after the way you talked to her (me), you’re not getting shit from me”. I did it on purpose, I wanted other people to not feel sorry for her and to show how she was acting.
I honestly cannot deal with people who are heavy drinkers, drugged out or straight up mental. It really works my nerves and makes me more agitated. Too much exposure can make a sane person go insane. I’ve had way more than I want of it. When I bought my house, I didn’t do a lot of research about the neighborhood and I should have. It was a really long drive from where we were living and our car at the time was really struggling with even short trips. We bought it based on an inspection report, what the realtor (who’s a family friend) said and pictures. We found out shortly after moving in (within a few days) that there was a lot of trouble. The neighbors who live near us have a prostitution ring running in there and sell drugs out of their house. They have a lot of foot traffic coming in and out. We have a privacy fence that covers our entire back yard and we’re considering getting one for the front yard too even though we don’t hang out there. My child is only allowed to play in the back yard due to all of the bullshit that goes on out front.
I know this was kind of a rant blog but seriously, drugs are the worst thing that could have happened to this country and it’s people. Rehab should be free to all who want to enter and people who are witnessed on the streets drugged out, should be forced into rehab and mental health facilities.
My husband was diagnosed with Schizoaffective 2 years ago and at first we were wondering what could be done for him. They put him on every medication they could and nothing helped. Finally, they put him on Xanax that was for “Emergency use only” and basically if he would have a manic fit in public or at home, he would take a Xanax to relieve the symptoms temporarily. That worked for a long time but now, he’s not taking the medication anymore because it’s not helping him and he doesn’t want to go any higher on the dose because he’s afraid he’ll be taking too much and on top of that more than one pill makes him sleepy.
I have noticed that over the past year my husband has been declining in his mental health. He sleeps a lot and gets sidetracked all of the time. He spends a lot more time doing useless things like spending too much time on Facebook, Twitter and Sports websites. He doesn’t spend much time with us anymore and he’s become very animated where he sings random songs when no music is playing and he talks randomly on and on about nothing. He definitely doesn’t help much around the house and when he does it’s because I’ve literally bitched at him until he does it. He’s become a lot more argumentative about everything and does not handle constructive criticism at all. Anytime that I bring to his attention that he’s acting out, he says that I’m making it up, basically lying about it. Afterall, he doesn’t see things for what they really are.
He has a lot of OCD’s including being afraid of ants and seeing germs that they “leave behind”, washing his hands a lot and compulsively checking Facebook. For a long time he would become extremely upset if our son got dirty or made any messes because he expected him to know that messes are “dirty” and “Germey” lucky for us, he has since lightened up on that part and he’s no longer bothered by it.
There’s so much more I could write but, I would be here all night. All I can say is that living with a Schizo is one of the hardest things you’ll have to endure. It’s so difficult to see what they see and live in their world even for a minute. I’m hoping that at some point, things will turn around and he’ll be able to function again normally.
If any of you have similar circumstances or know more about this condition, please comment below. Thanks!
So as many of you know, I have written a couple of blogs concerning my family life with my mother in law. I have become extremely frustrated with the way things are turning out. I’m starting to wonder if the Jehovah’s Witnesses are even part of this because, though she often uses Jehovah and what she’s learning inside the Kingdom Hall as her defense, it’s clear to me that this is more mental illness than anything.
She’s been staying with us for the past 3 weeks and it’s been nothing but trouble. She often gives me lectures on how a blanket that my son has, which was a gift from his grandpa is bad and is causing his Autism. It’s a Catholic blanket. He also has a ninja turtle blanket that she complains about. She will not allow him to watch Super Why, Popeye or anything she deems “inappropriate” though this is my house and I finally had enough and I said, if you don’t like the way we live, you can either go back to your house or go into your bedroom. She’s constantly walking through the house making loud sighs and slamming doors over seemingly nothing. I’ve grown tired of this ridiculous behavior.
Recently, she wanted to go to the Kingdom Hall up the street, we took her there but it was closed. She got extremely angry with us because we would not drive her 45 minutes to the next Kingdom Hall. She will not take any jokes whatsoever that are not even targeted towards her religion. She gets extremely frustrated with us because we won’t allow her to be a helicopter parent to our son and we won’t allow her to spoon feed him because, he’s big enough to feed himself. She’s also angry because we won’t allow her to rock him to sleep and run to him every time he whines. We’ve noticed that our son is beginning to revert back to a baby like stage since she’s been here. He’s not talking anymore, just babbling and making noise. He’s not walking much anymore, just crawling again. We want to take her home, 2 hours away but right now we don’t have the gas.
I wish someone would please tell me what my options are because I’m extremely burned out with this. On top of that, Christmas is coming up and she’s become very hostile about it. She’s been saying things like “I will not participate in the demon holiday and I will not allow you to keep me here while you celebrate the demon holiday”. I don’t want her here ruining my life further. I’m so sick of the temper tantrums and the nonsense she spews. I’ve just had enough. The only thing I hate is forcing her out of my son’s life because he doesn’t understand all of this but I know, as a parent I have to be protective of him and do what’s in his best interest and she’s doing more harm than good emotionally.
I decided to write this blog because right now I’m experiencing a mental breakdown so please, allow me the time here to explain everything.
I don’t have this problem often but right now, I feel as though I’m not connected to myself. I know that sounds strange but it’s almost like I’m watching myself away from my body. I don’t feel depressed or suicidal, I just feel a complete disconnect. When people are talking to me tonight, I barely hear anything they say. It almost sounds like they are speaking from a distance into a tunnel.
I have been having some stress with my husband lately. About 2 years ago, we found out that he has Schizoaffective and though he doesn’t have hallucinations, he does verbalize every single tiny thought that he has and he has a lot of issues where if one little thing doesn’t work right, he gets manic, he also has problems with communication and studders a lot. Fine, that’s not really the issue. However, I have become zoned out when it comes to his problems. I feel as though I have so many difficulties of my own that I cannot deal with his constant issues. I love him but, I’m growing tired. Anytime I go to relax, he comes right in the same room I’m in and talks through the entire TV show I’m watching and he constantly says every little tiny thing on his mind. He’s always interrupting my phone conversations with his excessive talking or he’s in the background yelling about something he perceives as something major that’s actually very minor.
On top of that stress, I have a child with autism who can’t handle anymore than his father can and it’s basically like having two kids with autism. I’m a lot more patient with my son because I know that there’s hope for him and I love him very much and i know that none of this is his fault. My husband used to help me a lot with our son but now, he’s at a point to where he would much rather be focused on either being mad about something, watching TV or obsessing over sports. Then, when I ask him to do any task around the house, you would think I just asked him to jump off a bridge. Another problem I have is every time I say something to him, it’s almost like I never said anything and usually end up repeating myself. i have tried talking to him about all of the various issues but he just keeps arguing with me and saying that’s not the way it is.
I love my husband very much but, the problems that he’s having mentally that have increased over the past year are taking a toll on me. He’s not physically abusive so that’s a good thing but, I’m just losing all of my patience. If it wasn’t for our son, I could very easily just walk away. I know that people are supposed to see a marriage through but honestly, I don’t see myself being with him the rest of my life if he can’t get his issues under control. I just want some peace, I’m not asking for much. Our car has been broken down for nearly a week now and I’m really stressing because the only outside time I get is going to the backyard and that does help some but, sometimes I just need to drive. I don’t drink or party and I have only a few friends (by choice). I work from home through an online business that I have and it’s simply not enough because my husband isn’t working right now and so we’re stuck together 24/7. That’s making it all worse.
I’m constantly having to be after my husband to do things, to take his meds, to help with whatever needs to be done, to go to the store when our car was working and anything else. I’ve grown tired of being the main adult in this family who’s trying to keep it all together. On top of that, I have a mother in law who stays with us and it’s been a nightmare because she gets mad over every little thing and is annoyed by so much stuff. Now, I don’t want any of you to take anything I have said the wrong way as far as my son is concerned. He’s never in danger or hearing anything that’s going on because he’s either outside playing in the backyard or sleeping.
I was doing pretty good today until i went to relax and my husband decided to verbalize every tiny thought that entered his mind, which by the way, is never of any meaning. He just talks and talks about virtually nothing and when I go to talk to him about serious issues, he just basically shuts down and he has told me that he doesn’t mean to be this way and that he feels like he has no control over it. We haven’t had much luck in finding him a viable treatment for his mania. I feel very lucky though that he’s not like most manic’s who are alcoholic’s or abusers. He does have good self control as far as that goes and he doesn’t drink alcohol at all anymore, he stopped about 4 years ago. I don’t feel like I’m in danger of anything, I just feel like my mind can’t take anymore stress and so I decided to lock myself in my bedroom to write this blog just to have some quiet time.
Comment and let me know if you have experienced this and what you think about it. Insulting comments towards me will be rejected and trashed.